Page 52 of A Single Thread Of Hope

He inclined his head. Cerberus changed back into the hound, and slobber landed at my feet. I glared up at him. “Ew, I was in the splash zone.”

His middle head chuffed a laugh. “Annwn is that way.” He lifted his chin, pointing left. “Good luck.”

The realm of the dead for the Celtic believers. I looked over at Fea. “Lead on, soul guide.”

Wren gave the guys a little wave, and we followed behind this stranger provided by some mystical force with unknown intentions, trusting that she was leading us toward happiness.

Chapter 28

WREN

The River Styx was endless. Everything on either side of its banks looked exactly the same, and I felt like we’d been walking for days.

Fea looked over her shoulder at me. “Time works strangely here. Well, to be exact, there is no time. Why would there be time? There is no sun to mark the day. No moon, no tide, nothing but the endlessness of eternity. I guess this is where time comes to die too, don’t you think?”

I felt like I was Alice talking to the Mad Hatter.A very unhappy deathday to me, to me.“So up top, it’s probably been how long?”

Fea shrugged. “An hour? A year? A century? It’s impossible to know.”

I looked over at Cy, who also shrugged. “Time is weird down here. But I’ve never been down here and missed a century. Usually works the other way. A year down here is a month up there. That kind of thing.”

I didn’t know why it mattered how much time I was missing. I was dead. My short life had been full of pain, just because the universe had chosen me as some kind of divine incubator.Then, it didn’t let me even have a few moments of peace. No, the universe had to fuck me over one more time and let me be murdered.

How fucking dare it?

How was any of this fair?

The more we walked, the more the anger in my chest built and built. Every little part of my life had been about moving me into this position. The people I’d loved. The choices I’d made. The job I’d gotten. All of this was so the babies could be born. And then fate had theaudacityto cut my life painfully short.

I stumbled over a rock, but it felt like more than that. It felt like just one more obstacle in my path, ensuring that I couldn’t even have a moment's peace. “Argh!” Leaning down, I snatched the rock from the ground and threw it as far as I could into the River Styx—which turned out not to be far, because I was weak and the rock was big. And I didn’t even have the satisfaction of a big splash, because the waters weren’t even really water. They were souls.

Souls like mine.

I turned and screamed into the darkness around me, already filled with howling souls, and I just became one voice in the symphony of suffering.

I screamed and screamed and screamed. “Why?!What fuckingmoredo you want from me? I’ve given you everything. Why couldn’t you let me be happy foreven just a second?” I screeched, though I doubted the force who’d done this to me was here.

Maybe I was just unlucky. Maybe there was no Great Weaver. No power moving us all around like chess pieces. Maybe there was just shitty fucking luck, and I’d gotten the bad end over and over again, because that’s what I deserved.

Two big arms wrapped around my waist, and I collapsed into Cy’s body. I sobbed furious tears, letting them spill onto thebarren ground like acid rain. Let my tears soak into the River Styx, like the tears of so many others before me.

Cy didn’t tell me it was all going to be okay. Who could predict that, really? He didn’t try to appease me or make me feel better; he just did what he’d promised he’d do back on the banks of the river.

He stayed with me, always.

“It’s not fair, Cy. It’s justnot fair.”

He stroked his hand down my hair. “I know, baby.”

“They’re going to grow up without a mother, for what? Petty revenge? The Moirai couldn’t have been the Fates again, with only the two of them. What was the point of it all?” My voice was beginning to rise again. “I’m so fucking angry. I want to… I want to tear the fuckingworlddown. I want to find whoever decided this was my destiny, our destiny, and fucking punch them in the dick.”

He kissed my cheeks, chasing the salty tears from around my eyes. “I’ll hold their cosmic, all-powerful arms for you so you can get in a couple of good shots before we’re turned to dust.”

I laughed, but it was a wet, pathetic sound. Beneath it was bitter anger that I didn’t think was ever going to go away.

Fea cleared her throat, and I realized I’d just had a huge, toddler-style meltdown in front of this stranger. My guide. What the hell did that even mean? She seemed about as oblivious to the reason she was with me as we were.

“Saying I’m sorry that you’ve suffered would be woefully pitiful, so I’ll spare my breath.” She gave me a sympathetic expression that was likely to make me start crying again, so I dragged my face back to Cy’s chest. “Annwn is close, and then you can rest.”

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