Page 83 of Pucking Fate

“Sorry. I feel the same way,” I tell him.

“Let me…I’ve got to talk to Elle before I make a decision,” he says, making my heart slump. I’m not jealous of her or their relationship. I just wish I had someone I could turn to in times like these other than my brother. My brother who has his own life in another city now. In a way, I guess it feels like Preston abandoned me too, even if that’s silly. Everyone I’ve ever loved has up and left me or thrown me out.

“Okay. Just call me later,” I tell him before ending the call.

Staring at the phone in my hand, my next thought is that I want to call Christian. I don’t even know why, though. He enjoys fooling around with me, but probably doesn’t want to deal with the heavy stuff. It’s not like he knew my father or will understand how badly I’m reeling right now after talking to my mom for the first time in years.

And how in the world am I going to explain all of this to Finley?

He just found out he has a father. Telling him he also had a grandfather until yesterday as well as a grandmother, but that neither of them wanted anything to do with him because Christian and I weren’t married, well, that’s a conversation I never want to have with him.

As I recall my father’s last words to me, I have to pull out a chair at the table to sit down.

You’re both a disgrace to this family.

Your brother can help you raise the bastard, because your mother and I don’t want anything to do with it.

The last words my father spoke were to call my beautiful son a bastard and to say Preston and I were a disgrace to the family.

He meant those words. Even on his death bed, if he had one, he wouldn’t have taken them back.

At least now that he’s gone, I’ll never have to hear another horrible word from his mouth.

I’m not surprised when Elle calls my cell phone before Preston calls me back, while I’m still sitting in shock at the kitchen table.

“Hey, Elle,” I answer.

“Hey. I’m so, so sorry about your dad. How are you holding up?”

“It’s, um, unexpected, but I haven’t spoken to him in years. I guess I’m just…numb,” I tell her. “How’s Preston?”

“I’ve never seen him so…lost. He decided to go to training, even though I tried to convince him to stay home.”

“Yeah, I know how he’s feeling. Our father was an asshole, but he was still our father and now he’s dead and gone. I spoketo my mother for the first time in nearly six years today. What they did to me still hurts like hell,” I explain in a rush.

“I know it does. And his death doesn’t forgive him for being so cruel to you,” Elle says. “Do you think you’ll go to the funeral? Preston seems torn but leaning toward going.”

“Really?” I say in surprise.

“I think he wants to try to make amends with your mom, you know, before it’s too late to see her. He says she mostly just followed your dad’s orders.”

“She didn’t have to follow his orders! She could’ve left him.”

“I know. And she should have done that rather than abandon you and Preston. Going to the funeral doesn’t absolve her of anything either, though. I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped it.”

Sighing, I tell her, “If Preston wants to go, then I’m going too. I won’t let him face that shit alone after all the times he’s been there for me. He’salwaysbeen there for me because they weren’t.”

“Then I would say you might want to start packing and thinking about travel arrangements. I guess we’ll be driving down Thursday.”

“Us too, I suppose. God, I don’t even know how to explain to Finley where we’re going or why,” I huff as I cover my face with my free hand.

“It won’t be easy, having to explain death to him. But it is a part of life. One he’ll have to face, eventually.”

“I know. I would have preferred us to start with a goldfish before jumping to people. Especially people who pushed us out of their lives.”

“We’re here if you need anything,” Elle says.

“I appreciate you calling. Make sure Preston reaches out when he makes a final decision?”

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