Page 77 of Pucking Fate

But I think I want to surprise him.

Before I can second-guess myself, I type out a quick message.

Will we see you tomorrow?I ask, so I can pretend I’m inquiring for Finley’s sake. After all, we didn’t discuss plans for the weekend tonight.

I stare at the screen, waiting. I hate that my heart speeds up just from sending a simple text. After what feels like an eternity, but is only moments, my phone buzzes.

Absolutely.

I smile and the dots appear as he types and then sends,How about we go to one of the parks? I told Finley about them over the summer and he asked me to take him to all of them.

The park sounds fun.

I hit send before I can overthink it. There’s a pause and then another message.

I’ve missed him. And you. I want us to spend the entire weekend together.

I bite my lip, my fingers tapping against the phone as I contemplate my next move.

Are you sure? What if someone sees us out in public and posts a photo? People will ask questions…

Let them. I don’t care if the whole world knows I have a son, or that you and I are together.

His confident message is followed by,Shit. I should probably tell my dad first.

You haven’t told your father about Finley?I ask in surprise and disappointment.

He’s going to be so pissed at me. The lecture about how immature and selfish I am will last years. But he’ll be excited to be a grandpa.

Oh. So, his hesitation sounds like it’s more about how his father will treat him, not because he’s ashamed.

I’ll tell him soon. He’ll probably want to meet Finley.

Of course,I agree.We could plan a visit to see him.

He’ll love you and Finley,Christian says. Then,What about your parents? Finley doesn’t ever mention his grandparents.

Because he’s never met them. They don’t want to know him.

WHAT?

I don’t really want to talk about it.

Well, I do. Who the hell wouldn’t want to know my incredibly awesome son?

His defensiveness makes me smile despite the overwhelming sadness.

Assholes,I respond.

Assholes,Christian agrees, making me feel like we’re a team, that we’re on the same side no matter what comes.

33

Maya

The Carolina sun beams down. It’s warm, but not oppressively humid yet this morning, as we spread out on the checkered blanket for our picnic. We're in the middle of a grassy park in downtown Greensboro, a spot Christian picked out. Elle sits next to me with Audrey reclining on the other side of her, casually flipping through a magazine. It’s a laid-back Saturday, and I think we could all use a day like this—the kind of day where you let go of the stress and just enjoy being together. It smells like summer—freshly cut grass and the chlorine from the nearby fountain. Kids run in and out of the water whenever it bursts upward from the ground.

I glance over at Christian, who’s playing frisbee with Finley a few feet away. Finley’s giggles ring out each time Christian exaggerates a missed catch, stumbling or tripping for comedic effect. My heart does that little thing it’s been doing lately—fluttering between happiness and anxiety. I’m glad Christian’s been making an effort, and I love how much joy Finley gets fromthese moments, but I can’t shake the worry that things could get complicated.