Page 91 of The Accidental Text

“What about you?”

“I think I’m becoming an adrenaline junkie.”

I snicker. “That could become an issue,” I say. “Has it … helped you with things?”

I skirt over what I really want to talk about, knowing he’ll understand me, hoping maybe he’ll open up about how he’s feeling. Even if just a little. He’s only given me tiny tidbits here and there. And even those might just be things I’ve picked up on, not things he’s actually said. Like a look I’ve seen on his face a few times, or his eyes going unfocused for a moment.

He lifts a shoulder and lets it drop. “It’s helping.”

That’s it? I will him with my brain to tell me more.Come on, Chase, open up.

“Not sure I’ll be able to keep this up in London,” he says, and my heart does a little dropping thing at his immediate change of subject.

“Sure you can; plenty of things to do there.”

“Have you been?”

“No,” I say.

He does that slight smile. “Well, whatever I do find, it won’t be half as fun without you there.” He bumps my side with his as we walk on the path.

“Please. You’ll find some cute British bird to keep you company,” I say. And then feel a little drop in my stomach at the thought. I don’t want Chase to find someone else to hang out with. It’s a ridiculous thought, really. How selfish of me.

“Hardly,” he says. “I’ll be working a lot.”

I’m bummed that he’s leaving. I’ve become so used to having him around, I think it’ll feel a little like withdrawal when he’s gone. At least we already have a texting thing going, so we’ll still have that. But with the time difference and his work, I know it will be different. Gone will be the days that I text him and get an almost immediate response. And I’ve come to rely on Chase a lot for my sanity.

“And how was Cooper’s yesterday? Get any new cars in that I can come sit in?” Chase asks this as we get to a sign that says we’re at the halfway point. There’s a split in the trail and I follow him when he takes the one to the left, past a sign that says Coconino National Forest.

“Oh yes, we got a new Ferrari F-eight Spider in yesterday,” I say.

Chase lets out a whistle. “How much would that put me back?”

“About two hundred and fifty k.”

He waves a hand at that. “That cheap?”

“So cheap.”

“And Dawson?” he asks. He sounds almost like it was hard to get the words out.

“He’s … good, I think,” I say.

I haven’t told Chase about the Dawson kiss yet. I was planning to today. But … I kind of don’t want to. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I haven’t decided what I think about it.

For Dawson’s part, he’s been pretty darn cute. Coming by my office just to say hi or going out of his way just to talk to me. We’ve had some actual conversations now that Chad is gone. Or maybe because we’ve moved past something now. Some invisible barrier that was there, but is gone now that our feelings are out. Well, I’m pretty sure I know what his feelings are. I’m just not so sure about my own. Am I one of those girls that once she gets what she wants, no longer wants it? Is it just the chase for me? I don’t think that’s the case, since my feelings for Dawson had started to wane even before that kiss.

I talked to Hannah about it, of course. We stayed up late the other night discussing. I thought if anyone could help me figure out how I’m feeling, it would be her. Instead, I was more confused. She didn’t seem all that excited, like I thought she would be. I thought she’d be cheering and telling me toGet on that right now!But she didn’t. Her conclusion was that maybe it just wasn’t our time. Not very helpful.

“How was work for you?” I ask Chase as we walk along the trail. The landscape is starting to change from flat and sprawling to redder and rockier as we walk. It reminds me of Sedona, with the beautiful red rocks and the green trees surrounding them; the backdrop of the clear blue sky onlymakes the colors more vibrant. It’s gorgeous here. My mom would have loved it. I can see her here, holding her arms out wide, telling us all how lucky we are to be living near such a beautiful place.

“Also boring,” he says. “I’m so tired of training.”

“Thank goodness for my clever texting.”

“Yes. Couldn’t survive without you.” He turns his aviator-clad gaze on me, giving me a bright smile.

We chat as we follow the trail as it wraps and weaves around large boulders. We end up walking single file on a narrower part, a wall of red rock on one side and a pretty big fall on the other. This part is starting to feel more like a hike, with the smaller trail and the uneven terrain.

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