Page 17 of Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

I pull my chin in. “There are costumes?”

“Of course,” she says. “It’s like cosplay.”

I swipe a hand down my face, imaging how stiff and itchy those garments must be. “That’s gonna be a no from me.”

I’ll go hang out on a beach by myself any day before doing something like that. In fact, this conversation is making me think this solo trip to Costa Rica doesn’t sound so bad after all.

“Zaaaaaaaane,” she says, drawing out my name like she used to when we were younger, when she’d try so hard to get me to teach her how to rollerblade or play outside with her. She called me “Dane” for a long time because it was so difficult for her to sayZs. I had a hard time saying no to her back then. I don’t have that same problem now, though.

“Not happening.”

“You have no idea how much she’s been looking forward to this, Zane,” Amelia says, her voice sharper now. “If I could go,I would. But I can’t, and it kills me to think of her going alone when you could help.”

I let out a slow breath, her words hitting harder than I’d like to admit. I don’t want to seem like some heartless jerk. But what Amelia doesn’t get—what no one really gets—is that this trip isn’t an escape as much as a chance for me to figure out if I’m even cut out for this life at Foothills. I think my dad is expecting me to come to the same realization he did when he took his break, and everything will continue on like it did before. But what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not enough?

Costa Rica isn’t just some vacation, it’s my Hail Mary—a chance to get out of my own head, to figure out if I can actually be the person my dad thinks I am. And if I can’t, I need to know before I let him down any more than I already have.

“Why is Macey going alone?” my mom asks, confusion on her face. “Didn’t she have someone lined up to go as Mr. Darcy?”

“She did,” Amelia says, her shoulders doing a sort of slouching thing. “But he had to back out last minute. Now she’s going by herself.”

“Oh, I don’t love that,” my mom says, repeating what she just said about my solo trip to Costa Rica. She’s always treated Macey like one of her children.

“She’ll be just fine,” my dad says, never one to worry. My mom seems to be the one with that gene. And I guess Amelia must have inherited it. But not for me—for Macey.

“Of course she’ll be fine,” Amelia says. “It’s just that I want this to go well for her. She’s had such a crappy year.”

My mom shakes her head. “I can’t believe her mom is back in rehab, and for so long too.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a repeat offender,” my dad says.

“Exactly. And Macey broke up with her cheating boyfriend, and was kicked out of her apartment,” Amelia says, punctuatingeach point with a tap of her finger. “And now things at work aren’t going well.”

“Oh no, what’s going on at work?” my mom asks, concerned. “Is she going to lose her job or something?”

“I’ll hire her,” says my dad.

Amelia shakes her head. “No, she still has her job. She’s just not doing what she wants to be doing there, and there was this horse thing—actually, it’s a long story. She just needs a win right now.”

I scrunch my brow, not sure how me going with her would be the win Amelia is hoping for. “Didn’t she win this trip? Isn’t that a win?” I ask.

Amelia looks to my mom and then my dad, her lips twisting to the side. A telltale sign that she’s up to something. Or hiding something.

“What am I missing?” I ask, looking at the three of them.

“You can’t tell her,” she says, “but Mom and Dad paid for it, and I made it look like she won.”

“I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you just give it to her as a gift from us?” I ask, not following.

“That’s what I said,” my dad replies.

Amelia shakes her head. “Because she wouldn’t have accepted it. She feels indebted to our family already.”

“That’s ridiculous,” my mom says. “She owes us nothing. We love Macey like one of our own.”

“I know this, and so does she. But Macey doesn’t like having to rely on others.”

“She’s literally living with us right now,” I say, still confused.

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