PROLOGUE
RYDER - 10 YEARS AGO
Lying on the bed at the B&B my manager had rented, I held Shiloh in my arms as we both waited for our breathing to regulate. Feeling her breasts move against my skin, her nipples poking gently into my flesh, got me hard all over again.
It was her first time. And even though we had gotten to know one another over the last few weeks while me and my band recorded the last part of our album at Evie Hale’s studio, I still didn’t want to rush her into anything. We had a little down time and I tried to spend as much of it as I could sneak, with Shiloh Bauman. It wasn’t easy, since she had some really big men protecting her, not least her father, Harry, a former Marine.
But until she was comfortable being seen with me, I was prepared to sneak around. I wanted to wait until she was ready to tell her friends and family about us before we had sex. She was the one who wanted to take our relationship to the next level before I needed to get back to Los Angeles.
I squeezed her tighter as she rubbed her cheek against my chest. “This has been the best holiday season of my life.” That wasn’t even a question. Before I joined the band, holidays athome had always been less than pleasant. Not in the no-gifts way, which there weren’t, but my mother was… well… let’s just say there was very little she did that would win her mother of the year.
“It's definitely in my top three.” She smiled, those green eyes twinkling as she moved to lie on top of me. Her red hair tickled at my ribs, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. We were both naked and there was no mistaking I was ready for round two. “I mean before I came to stay with Tess and Harry, my mom tried, but there was always that underlying tension in the compound where we lived. And then there were times when she was away because someone had bought her for the holidays.”
“How many of you lived in the compound?” I was curious. I knew she had three foster sisters who had been rescued along with her. “And were all the kids together?”
A shiver ran through her and I pulled a blanket from the bottom of the bed over us both and snuggled her closer. “I never noted any of it. It was just a way of life for me. But I think there were close to five hundred women and children in that compound. My mother tried to protect me from a lot so I am not sure about much. But if I had to guess, I was on my way to an auction at the time of my rescue.”
Shiloh was born into slavery. Her mother had been traded from one owner to the next for her entire adult life. Shiloh had been born less than a year after her mother had been captured, mere weeks after her eighteenth birthday. Now, Shiloh was the same age, with a very different future. When she told me about her life in one of our late-night phone conversations, it humbled me at how she took everything in her stride.
She was so different to the girl I had conjured in my head when I first saw her a few weeks back at an Evie Hale concert. She was in the VIP section along with Evie’s daughter and a fewother friends. And I was the opening act. When my gaze caught hers, I knew I needed to find a way to meet her.
My band was called The Poets. We were like any other boy band. A group of male singers. While some of us had other musical talents, it was not our forte. We sang. That was our job. Well, that and pleasing the audience. By doing things like the ball cap toss.
Our logo was black and white, and for each show we did we had one baseball cap made which had the logo in pink. Each show I threw that cap into the crowd. It had become part of our signature. I never threw it into the VIP suite, though. Except for the night Shiloh caught my eye. I knew I needed to do something to maintain her attention.
Unfortunately, her sister had caught the cap, but it still created a talking point for me after the show. Then, when I came to town to record, we would seek each other out whenever we had a chance. I understood her desire to keep things secret. After all, I had the reputation of being a player and I think she didn’t want to look like another groupie. She wasn’t, but I understood how she could believe that until I showed her otherwise. Girls seemed to like the blue-eyed singing thing. And yeah, I took advantage of that.
I pulled her so she was more comfortable over me. Her pussy resting on top of my hard cock. “I think very few people get that storybook Christmas we all see on television. I’m just glad that for the first time in my life, I get to spend New Year’s with someone I really like.”
What I felt was so much more than like, but I wasn’t ready to admit that. Moreover, I didn’t think she was ready to hear it.
I grinned as the little minx moved her hips down and she smiled right back at me. “That was an awesome way to ring in the new year.”
I swallowed hard, remembering it was Shiloh’s first time. I had never taken someone’s virginity before. Even when I lost my virginity at seventeen, it was with someone way more experienced than me. Not that I hadn’t made up for it in the last three years.
All I knew was that, for girls, it hurt. “How are you feeling? I didn’t hurt you too badly?”
“No.” She shook her head and smiled at me. “Except for the little sting at the beginning, it didn’t hurt at all. And then once I got used to you—” she averted her eyes from me,“—uhm, it felt really good.”
Cupping her cheek gently, I turned her head to face me once more. “Don’t hide from me, Shi. The fact that you enjoyed your first time makes me feel good. I cannot imagine that’s a common thing, though I don’t know.”
She cupped my face with both hands as she rested her elbows at my armpits. “It’s not common. Neither Maggie nor Cat enjoyed their first time.”
Maggie and Cat were her foster sisters. I’d met the guy Cat was dating. He seemed like a major asshole to me, so it made sense he didn’t give a shit about the person he was with. Still the idea I gave Shiloh something that wasn’t common made me feel like the biggest man on the planet.
“I don’t want to leave tomorrow.” It was the truth, but we would be opening for Evie on the East coast for a few weeks before our debut album was released and then we would be starting our own tour later in the year.
I was hoping to make it back to Marina De Ferrier in what little scraps of down time I could find. Besides it being where Shiloh was, the people were all so welcoming. Shiloh’s friends in particular. Even the men who provided our security while we were in town made us feel welcome. I felt like Marina De Ferrier might be a place I could make home. Eventually, of course.
Both Shiloh and I had plans which did not involve staying in the small town. Even though we hadn’t known each other very long, we were determined to make the long-distance thing work.
She wanted a career in law enforcement. Profiling, in particular. But that would take years.
I had my music career to think about. Even if I wanted to do something else, it was clear I had nothing else to offer. My mother and my manager let me know regularly how rare my voice was and that I needed to make it count while I still looked as good as I did. Once it was all over, I would need to rely on royalties for the rest of my life.
I was glad my manager could spell that out for me, though it would’ve been nice to have someone who could be supportive of my own dreams. Even if it was a long-shot and highly unlikely, it would be nice to hear some encouragement. Maybe Shiloh could be that person. One day. When we weren’t some secret. Maybe then I would share those parts of myself. And maybe if she could be that girl, then maybe I would share what my mother nearly did to me. She would understand. Surely. She wouldn’t hold it against me.
“Hey.” Her sweet voice pulled me from my thoughts while her thumb stroked my cheek. “Where did you go?”