Page 19 of The Doctor

He slammed the steering wheel… And then he ranted. And I let him. He shouted about how stupid we were. About how his family could’ve helped. He made sure to mention that I still enjoyed my full ride to an Ivy League school and went on to live my dream.

I didn’t mention that being an ER doctor was only part of my dream. I wanted to marry Bex and have kids with her. I wanted us to navigate the difficulty of our jobs. My awkward shifts and her being away on deployments would have taken its toll. But I looked forward to figuring it out with her.

Since the night we made love, I hadn’t had an opportunity to do anything more. Not even a stolen kiss here and there.

Living in my small apartment with three children was not conducive to any sort of seduction or romance. Still, watching her with those kids, it felt like a family. Not the most functional one since Landon still refused to speak to anyone but his older brother and said older brother was resentful as hell.

By the time I pulled myself out of my thoughts, Ollie was winding down and completely out of breath. He turned to me. “Have you heard a word of what I said?”

“I heard most of it.” It wasn't really a lie. I imagined what he had to say was not much different from Nick’s rant earlier in the week.

He pulled into my building’s driveway. “How do I get into the resident’s parking lot?

“Just drop me off at the entrance. You can take my car home or wherever. I’ll get it from you sometime tomorrow. It’s my day off.”

To his credit, he didn’t argue. I knew he still wasn’t speaking to his wife since she also kept the secret from him. It was unlikely he’d call her to pick him up. Instead, he just nodded. “Thanks.” Before I could close the passenger side door he called me. “Lo, we will keep them safe.”

I greeted the extra guard outside the building before I keyed in my entrance code and dragged my heels to the elevator. I rested my eyes as I rode to the third floor. Thedingstartled me and before too long I was unlocking my front door.

The apartment was in disarray. All five of us had been living in my two bedroomed apartment for almost two weeks. In the past six days, I’d had shouting matches with both Nick and Oliver. Thankfully, they’d had the good sense not to do it in front of the children. Their dad had some stern words with me, and their mother had barely spoken to me. She was barely speaking to Bex as well, which was worse in my opinion. On the upside, she seemed to embrace having three more kids to spoil. My cramped little apartment was bursting with toys and books and clothes and other kiddie paraphernalia.

We had a high chair and two car seats. One for an infant and one for a toddler. I’ve seen more animated television in the last two weeks than I had in my entire childhood. But Landon was still only speaking to Dom.

Still, the sight that greeted me stole my breath. Bex sat on the couch feeding Vicky a bottle with Landon in front of her at the coffee table, eating what looked like a grilled cheese sandwich and watching the pink pig on television. Dom was nowhere to be seen, but I assumed he was holed up in the guest bedroom — or the ‘kids’ room’ as we referred to it — doing God knows what. It was like an accurate description of domesticity. Right down to the surly teenager wanting nothing to do with the adults around him. It was the life I wanted. But not under the circumstances I had it. I never wanted Dom to witness what he had. I neverwanted Landon and Vicky to lose their parents. I would do anything to spare those kids the trauma they’d been through.

Bex seemed to have a handle on things. The woman was phenomenal. Despite the minimal conversation Dom was prepared to have with her and the struggles communicating with Landon presented, she still managed to take care of those kids.

When I was on shift at the hospital, Bex made sure she was at the apartment. Dom continued to sleep on the couch but used the kids’ room for pretty much everything else. When both Bex and I were at home, we negotiated who cooked and cleaned. Yeah, we needed a bigger place. When I mentioned it to Bex, she seemed reluctant to leave our cocoon. I understood the need for that, I really did, but we had three children who needed to find their new normal. A baby, who thankfully, had no idea of what was happening and who was already attached to Bex. A toddler who was still in shock, and selectively mute. And a teenager who was scared out of his head. Not that he would likely ever admit it, but it was our reality. The kids needed stability.

I smiled at Bex and raised a brow. “That looks good on you.”

There wasn’t any part of me that didn’t enjoy the sight before me.

“She’s being a bit clingy today.” Bex put the bottle down and lifted Victoria to her shoulder. “Not that I mind at all. I don’t know how babies’ memories work but I think she’ll get over the grief sooner than the other two.”

I knelt in front of the coffee table opposite Landon. “Hey, kid. What have you got there?”

He smiled at me and offered me one of his grilled cheese quarters. I hid my surprise and took what he offered. “Hmmm, this is good. Did Aunty Bex make her famous grilled cheese for you?”

He looked down and shook his head. Still, I took it as a win. He’d shared with me, and shook his head indicating ‘no’.

Bex also shook her head. “I gave Dom instructions and he followed it as I walked Victoria around the apartment. He made one for each of us. Yours is in the microwave.”

I stood and retrieved my sandwich from the microwave and returned to sit and eat opposite Landon. I couldn’t help but smile. Landon was starting to communicate, Dom was starting to interact. And the little girl was growing more and more attached to Bex. The foster system only allowed the kids to stay with us because I was a medical practitioner and Bex had the strongest support group known to man. But Bex was the one holding us all together. Even if she didn’t think she was qualified.

She saw the smile on my face and her eyes widened and she held one hand up in a stop motion

“Don’t raise your hopes.” She shook her head. “We have no claim on any of them. My priority will be to keep them together, Lo. Anything else will have to be discussed. What I want and what they need may well be different things entirely.”

I crawled around the table until I was next to Landon but facing Bex. “I know it's too soon to get anyone’s hopes up.”

I didn’t say more because we hadn’t actually spoken about what would happen once Dom was safe. The truth was, Dom was old enough for the judge to take his feelings into consideration. He clearly held a lot of resentment toward us and he still hadn’t been able to deal with his grief.

“I think Dom needs to get out of the house a little. Nick’s running a LazerGames session with the kids one afternoon next week. I put his name down.”

I smiled and waggled my eyebrows. “You know, if we ask one of your sisters-in-law or even your mother to babysit, we could… you know. I mean, we could have a repeat of the other night. I do believe you made a promise or two.”

As I moved my hand up her thigh, I heard someone clear their throat. Dom rolled his eyes at us. “Are you two going to be gross now?”

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