Page 16 of The Doctor

That was only the third time that day I’d stood still since coming back from my parent’s house. Before the third pang could hit, I stood from the armchair.

“I’m going to shower and then head to bed.”

I raced from the room, focusing on what I needed to do instead of on what was swirling in my head. I blinked the tears away and swallowed hard. I knew it was coming, it always did. It wasn’t that I got emotional often but I knew how to deal when it did. I was a Ranger for heaven’s sake. Crying was not something I could do in front of the men. Not that I thought it was unhealthy. In fact, I was grateful I had the outlet. Just not in front of anyone else.

I stripped quickly, but the red polish on my toes was already blurring. Once I was in the shower with water flowing over my body, my shoulders relaxed.

Remembering the day I gave Dom up sprang to mind. How I’d broken Logan’s heart and in turn, mine too. How all I wanted was for Dom to be happy and healthy. And he was… for the most part. He’d had a mom and a dad who could provide for him. Who didn’t need to rely on grandparents so they could earn a decent living. Even once his dad passed away, his mother still made him a priority.

I wanted that for my kid. And yeah, in hindsight I knew Logan and I could have provided that for him, could’ve been the parents he needed. But at seventeen I hadn’t. If I had, Domwould have missed the love of two great people. But maybe he would not have witnessed what he did.

If I was brave fifteen years ago, he would not have seen what he did. There wouldn’t now be a threat to his life.

Tears flowed down my cheeks and mixed with the water from the shower. I leaned against the cold gray tiles. My legs were wobbly and I slid to the ground. So much of my life was not as expected. And there was still so much I still needed to tell Logan.

Openly sobbing and not caring about who heard me, I remembered the look of disappointment on my mother’s face. It was the same one I would’ve seen all those years ago. No. That was not true. My mother would’ve done what she needed to support me. The look on her face had everything to do with the deception. The fact I had kept all those secrets from her.

Vaguely I heard the bathroom door opening but I didn’t care. I had made such a mess of things and didn’t know how to fix any of it. Moments passed before the shower curtain opened.

“Come here, I’ve got you.” Logan was there. He was in only his briefs as he picked me up off the floor. “Let it all out, Bex. I’m here.”

And I did. I huddled into him and cried. I cried for the child I gave up and for what I could never have. I let out all my sorrow until the water ran cold. Logan picked me up and I locked my legs around his waist. I heard him fiddling with the taps until the water stopped. He placed me on my feet, making sure I was steady before he reached for a towel.

He dried my whole body, before wrapping the towel around my chest. He used a second towel to rub through my hair before he carried me to the bedroom. I watched him as he walked around his bedroom, pulling a draw open and taking something out. He pulled a soft white t-shirt over my head and led me to the bed.

“Sleep, Becky.”

I held his wrist knowing exactly what I wanted. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never again.” He sat on the bed next to me. “Even if you push me away, I will never leave you.”

“No.” I looked directly at him. “Stay with me now. I need you, Lo.”

Knowing he would protest and question what I wanted, I pulled him closer to me.

“Becky, you need to be sure.” He let me push him down next to me. “You’ve had an emotional day, I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“We were going to do this. I still want it.” And I did. I knew from the moment I had slipped that dress over my body for the wedding that I wanted Logan. In my bed and in my heart, but we needed to take one step at a time. “I just need today to end with something good.”

Logan turned us so he was hovering on top of me. He lowered his mouth to mine. And as our lips touched, it was like I had been transported back in time.

His lips were still soft yet firm at the same time. His tongue tangled with mine and memories flowed through my mind of our time together. The nip to my lower lip was new. As was the groan as he pressed his erection into my belly. I remembered Logan, the boy. But the Logan that hovered above me? He was all man.

10

LOGAN

Kissing Bex was still one of my favorite things to do. The first time I kissed her had changed my life. I was almost thirteen and, in that moment, I knew I was kissing my wife. The first time we used tongue was not what I had expected. I almost came in my pants at that point. And all of that was still years before we had sex for the first time. Well, actual intercourse, at least. Before that we had learned much about each other’s bodies.

None of that compared to kissing her in my bed. I knew she’d had a bad day. I figured when she stormed from the room that she needed to let things out.

What I didn’t expect was to hear her sobbing all the way from the living room. Dom and I shared a look and I told him not to worry. That I would handle it.

I wasn’t sure what I would find. The one thing I knew was that seeing Bex huddled on the floor off my shower crying, was not it. The sight of her crumpled like that tore my heart out. I knew we’d had a hard twenty-four hours and we both were waiting for Dom to break down. But obviously she needed to do so, as well. Going to her wasn’t even optional. It was mandatory. The only thing my brain told me to do.

And when she told me she wanted me, I wanted nothing more than to be buried deep inside her. Still, I needed to give her an out. She needed to know I would never forgive myself if she regretted things in the morning. I wanted to let her know I was not leaving. But that was a conversation for another day.

I pulled out of the kiss and lowered my mouth to her neck. A memory buried deep resurfaced and I smiled as my tongue snaked up her jaw to the spot just where her earlobe met her jawline.

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