Page 1 of The Doctor

1

LOGAN

15 YEARS AGO

Her cry pierced the hospital room. Bex’s hand crushed mine and she glared at me. “This is your fault. You got me into this position.”

She wasn’t wrong. We'd been having sex for over a year. We’d been careful and I was sure that not once had the condom broken. Bex didn’t go on the pill because she didn’t want her parents to know she was having sex, though we were seventeen and had been together since middle school. I was pretty sure her dad knew. In the last year he’d been giving me lots of side-eye.

I chanced a look over at her twin brother, Mason. The guy was also my best friend and while I was headed to Columbia Pre-Med on a full ride, he and Bex were off to Fort Jackson for boot camp in the fall. A situation only made possible by the lovely childless couple sitting anxiously in the waiting room.

Dorian and Liza Bayers had been our first choice to adopt our son. He was a hedge fund something or other and she was a teacher. They lived in Northern California and we all agreed on having the baby in a hospital closer to them. Mason, Bex and I were all supposed to be away at a school event. Obviously, we had cut out on that.

Just as Bex let out another cry, causing both her brother and I to wince in pain, their sister Debbie walked in. “Mase, why don’t you go give the Bayers an update.”

“With pleasure.” He removed his hand from his sister’s, wiggling his fingers to relieve the pain, as relief filled his features.

Debbie looked at me. “Sorry, dude, but you need to stay with her.” She took the hand Mason had just let go. “Since you’re partly responsible for this, you have to stay.”

She was a sophomore and had driven from the UC Berkeley campus to be with Bex. More especially since Bex didn’t want the rest of her family to know, Debbie had to be the voice of reason.

If you asked me, it was a stupid decision to opt for adoption. If it was my family, then yes. But Bex had supportive parents and more siblings who would have rallied around her. It made no sense not to involve them. But she had insisted.

The next few hours were the worst of my life. Watching the girl I loved in such agony as she prepared to bring life into the world, was humbling. As the tiny baby boy wailed out his first cry, my heart broke into a million little pieces. The mid-wife wanted to hand the baby over to Bex when Debbie stepped in front of the woman, holding her hands up. “No. They cannot hold the baby. You will not make it any harder on them than it already is.”

I nodded in agreement despite the part of me that wanted to protest and so did Bex. Maybe if we made it even harder on ourselves, we would change our minds. Maybe we would stop everything and keep the child who was meant to be ours.

I swallowed the burning sensation in my throat and turned away as a nurse wheeled the small hospital crib from the ward. We were reminded there was still some paperwork which needed to be completed and that it was not a sealed adoption. I wasn’t entirely sure what all that meant. At the time wheneverything was being explained, I was still working through my anger at Bex for the decision she had made.

I didn’t know her reasoning behind wanting to give our son up for adoption, and not because I wouldn’t hear her out. Bex had insisted it was the best thing for the kid and refused to talk about it any further. I loved her and was afraid of losing her, so I never pushed. But in that moment, listening to my son whimper as he left the ward, I wished I had.

I took the time while we finalized the paperwork to get my thoughts and feelings under control. The last thing she needed was for her boyfriend to be less than supportive. And judging by the emotions playing on her face, she was struggling as well.

The sun had gone down before Bex was able to get some rest. Since it was an easy birth, she would be discharged the following morning and we would be on our way back home. And since the Bayers were covering all the costs, Mr. and Mrs. Salinger’s insurance would not be billed. That was the plan at least.

Mason and I had stayed at a motel and Debbie had stayed with the parents of a college friend of hers closer to the hospital. I hadn’t gotten much sleep that night. The thought of Bex alone in a hospital bed after what she had gone through didn’t seem right. I knew she would have spent much of the night crying, and I couldn’t be there to comfort her.

When my cell phone alarm eventually blared through the room I was showered, dressed, and ready to leave in under twenty minutes. Mason and I picked up breakfast muffins at a drive-thru on our way to the hospital. I got one with extra cheese and no bacon for Bex.

The closer we got to the hospital, the bigger the pit in my stomach grew. I couldn’t shake the feeling my day would be worse than the one before. Not that I could imagine how. Less than twenty-four hours ago, my girlfriend’s labor was inducedand we had to give up our child. It didn’t get much worse than that.

I couldn’t stop rubbing my sweaty palms along my thighs in an attempt to calm down. I squirmed and shifted in my seat. Thank goodness Mason had the good sense to drive since there was no way I would have been able to concentrate on the road. I hadn’t even realized we had pulled into the hospital parking lot and the car had stopped until Mason tapped my shoulder.

“Let’s get in there.” He offered me a small smile but he was as tense as I was.

The ride in the elevator seemed to take forever. When it eventually dinged open on the fourth floor, I rushed out and didn’t bother to check if Mason kept up with me.

The door to Bex’s room was open and there were three other occupied beds. Each of the women had a hospital crib next to the bed. Two of them had a man sitting next to the bed. That must’ve been hard for Bex. Seeing those families made me blink a few times. I could only imagine what it did to her.

My eyes caught hers just as she wiped away her tears. Judging by the redness and the puffiness, she’d been crying for quite some time. Her sister, who sat on the bed with her, looked as if she’d been bawling just as much. What the hell was going on? What could’ve brought it on?

Debbie blinked and pressed her palms to her eyes. She looked over at her brother behind me. “Mase, let’s go get some coffee.”

“I just had some on the way here.”

She frowned at him. “Mase, let’s go.”

Mason must’ve sensed something in Debbie’s tone since he didn’t argue further. I moved closer to the bed and Bex pushed herself up.

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