Page 73 of Hostile for the Holidays

“And no disrespect to what we had.” He motions between us. “It was one night of passion, but me and Cady are something else. I can’t even describe it.”

Daniel makes this relationship thing sound so easy. I wonder if I’m missing something.

“Can you try?” I ask, genuinely curious.

Since our fight in the snow yesterday, Jasper hasn’t texted or called. I didn’t expect him to, but it does feel like after all these years, and everything we’ve been through, he wouldn’t so easily back off. I know I’m not being fair. Wanting my cake and eating it, too, and all that. But after a night of restless sleep, and a day filled with watching Sadie and Tom love each other for exactly who they are, faults and all, I’m starting to rethink things.

Maybe coming clean to Daniel will make me feel better about the situation. It can’t hurt.

“Jasper and I were never really together.”

Daniel blinks. “What?”

“I saw you at the airport and didn’t want to deal with your flirting so I pretended Jasper was my boyfriend.”

His mouth starts to curve into a smile and then he laughs. “That’s a good one.”

“I’m serious.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You and Jasper are relationship goals. I knew from watching you with him I had no chance. It’s the best thing that could have happened because seeing you two together helped me get over you and find Cady.”

I sigh. If Daniel won’t believe that Jasper and I weren’t a real couple even when I tell him to his face, then I’m at a loss. “Okay. Sure. We’re madly in love. But we have some unresolved issues and now we’re not together anymore.”

“You two are going to work it out. I know because I see the love between you.” He leaves me with that, rushing off to find Cady in the crowd of guests on the dance floor.

God damn it. Even Daniel was thoroughly convinced we were a couple. I’m the one who couldn’t get it through her thick skull.

But that’s not true.

I suspected it on Christmas Eve. When Jasper gave me the bow earrings. It wasn’t the value of them, but the fact that he paid attention to something he knew I’d like. And I discovered there was no setup by his mom, and there never had been. When we slow-danced in his living room and he kissed me like I was his. There was an inkling then.

And then in Jasper’s room after he had me for the first time, I knew what it was.

Love.

That hadn’t been the scary part.

It was seeing my drawing and hearing that Jasper had loved me, not for the past ten days, but the last ten years, even more than that. That moment had hurt because it felt like a betrayal. I’d built the foundation of who I was largely on my rivalry withJasper. Hearing that he was never playing the game the way I was made me feel silly. I’d put trust in what we were, but that no longer existed. It felt like a race that only I was running while Jasper was already at the finish line waiting for me to catch up.

It wasn’t our relationship that was fake. It was our rivalry.

And I can hold onto the way I felt about him all those years ago or I can move forward with how I feel about him now.

Through the blur of my unshed tears, I scan the room, my eyes are desperately searching for…for what? Jasper isn’t here.

My chest aches with the thought of him sitting at home alone. On New Year’s Eve. He should be with the one he loves. He should be withme.

But I’m here and he’s not.

Then, it dawns on me that I can go find him. All of my bridesmaid duties are done and the last event of the evening is the countdown to midnight.

“As we get closer to counting down to the New Year, Tom and Sadie ask that their guests gather by the large windows overlooking the lake for a fireworks display accompanying the new year’s arrival.”

Glancing out the window, my heart drops.

It’s snowing. Jasper’s house is miles away and I’m in heels with no transportation.

I’ll borrow someone’s car.

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