Page 28 of The Naked Cleaner

He doesn’t speak so I just shush him and hold him and rock him against my body and he seems to calm down, his body now limp against mine as I almost slow dance him into the bedroom.

“We are not going to fuck. We are going to lie here, under the covers, and we are going to cuddle.” I state firmly.

“I want to fuck.” He squeals. Then he buries his face in my neck again as I try to push him into bed, then I stumble and kick him in the shins and we end up in a right tumble, but in the end, we’re all snuggled up as I fold the edge of the duvet under his chin.

“We can fuck. But not until you tell me what you need, because I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to do something wrong.”

I’m going to win awards for being sensible at this rate. Well, maybe not, because I am still touching him all over and now I have found his balls, which I am gently rolling between my fingers. Like a normal person would. Well, again, maybe not. And he is humping a little against me and there is something wet smearing against my stomach and he is making tiny little whispery sounds that I wish were louder. I want to make him moan. Scream. Shout. Beg me.

“I’ve never… you know. Topped. Bottomed once and it was awful. I… I know it can be really good. I… Fuck, Louis, I’m shit scared.”

I love that he’s honest. I love this. I think I love everything right now as I roll on top of him and kiss the living daylights out of his mouth.

I’m into this. I’m into this far too much, because he just said he’s scared and then I go full hulk mode on him.

“Sorry,” I pant, “I just needed to kiss you. Because you are mine and I will take care of you, and I am just as scared as you, baby, because I need you to look after me too. I’ve had sex. I have had really good sex, and I have had bad sex too, and I promise you, baby, I fucking swear, you and I will never have bad sex. Even when it goes wrong and we laugh about it, it willNEVERbe bad. I will never hurt you, or make you do something you don’t want to do. Just say no, or stop and I will stop. Be honest with me, and I will be honest with you. I love fucking, and if you let me, I will make you love it too. Okay? Promise.”

“It’s a big promise, especially for someone... who… like me.”

He’s going to make me cry, because I can see it. All the fear. The hurt. The need. He’s just like me in so many ways.

“I’m… yours.” Is all I can say. Because I am a little intense right now, and he is fucking beautiful and I kiss him. With my eyes closed. I kiss his lips and his cheeks and his neck and his mouth, and he clings to me and wraps his legs around mine and I just…

It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To have someone love me back, like this. Because even though he doesn’t say it, he shows it. His hands and his heart and his breath and the way he can’t bear it when I let go of his lips. He lunges back, biting at my bottom lip to make me stay and I grind my hips against his, whining softly in frustration.

I need inside him.

I don’t want to go too fast.

I don’t want to scare him.

“Have you got lube, baby?” Way to go for going slow. I'm doomed.

He reaches in under the pillow and produces a brand-new bottle. Cellophane still intact. Like he planned this. Sneaky little fucker.

His cheeks are flushed again and his lips chapped, looking like my horniest wet dream. He’s like every wet dream I have ever had.

“Slow.” He whispers and I kiss him, carefully and gently.

“I will never hurt you. Just love you.”

Fuck, my brain is fried. Did I just say that?

“I want this.” He says. “Please make it good.”

“You are beautiful.” My mouth says back, as my hands are lubing up everything. It’s spilling between my fingers and it’s on the sheets and his legs and I am now at an awkward angle trying to hold myself up and not squash him underneath me and fuck, we need a condom. Have I got condoms? What am I thinking?

“Here.” He says, ripping one open. Where the hell didthatcome from?

I reach over and lift the pillow up. Damn. Damn.

And Pontus squirms, and rolls to the side, burying his face in his hands.

There are like ten condoms. And a very nice-looking prostate massager.

“Wow.”

That’s me. I love it. Fuck, I love him.

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