Page 24 of Ship of Fools

“Can you take a picture of it? I want to see. I want to see where you came.”

I don’t know why I think that’s the horniest thing I have ever heard. I don’t know why I jump at his command and rumble around on the sofa until I find my phone, and I certainly don’t know why I get my camera on and start filming his arse. Why I run my fingers through the wetness still lingering on his skin, and why I smile as I give his arse a light slap. His moan is instant, and I know I will be re-watching this one... jerking off to it. Daily.

“You can jerk off to that one later, when I go back home and get some clean clothes. It’s my Christmas present to you.” He smiles and rolls over on his back, smearing come all over the sheets. I somehow don’t mind. I somehow love that he’s all over my bed. In it. On it.

“We shouldn’t have... not used condoms. It’s not on. I would never want to risk giving you anything…” I stutter out, but he just smiles.

“I got tested a week ago. I’m all good. I have the results on my phone if you want to see. I would never have let you bareback me otherwise.”

“What about me? You know nothing about where my dick has been!” I’m back to being stern, and he just smiles.

“Bea told me you haven’t had sex for months.”

“Bea knows shit.”

“Bea was on your phone, I’m sure she reads your messages.”

“Fuck you.”

“Yes, please.”

I’m an idiot, because I haven’t checked my phone. I haven’t checked the time either, because now I realise it’s just gone ten o’clock, and my family will bloody kill me andoh fuck!

“Bea had the baby!” I shout.

“She what?” Andreas screams, and throws himself out of bed, trying to grab the phone from me.

Numerous messages from Mum and Dad. Voice messages from Anna. Nothing from Bea. Oh, fucking hell? What have I missed?

“I’m coming to the hospital with you.” Andreas shouts, and hobbles out in the hallway, only to come back and shout, “Lend me some underpants, will you?”

“They won’t let us in.” I say. “They have visiting hours and stuff.”

“Have you ever let that stop you?” He smiles. “Your boyfriend... or partner... or whatever you want to call me,is a car salesman. I have a reputation to protect.”

“You’re going to just roll up there and put on the charm, and we will be allowed to see my sister?”

I haven’t smiled as much in years. Nor have I ever cried in the middle of sex. This is a Christmas of firsts. A lifetime of firsts. So many firsts with this ridiculous man, who is now running around my flat, wearing a pair of my briefs and one of my socks.

“Yup.” He smiles. “Watch and learn. Now get dressed.”

Andreas

He makes me smile, and I secretly love it. I love that he’s so obviously smitten with me, yet he doesn’t seem to realise how openly he’s giving himself away, alongside all his little secrets. He drops his keys on the ground, just because I wink at him. His hands shake as I tell him he’s cute. And the constant blush flashing over his face, whenever I look at him, it’s just so bloody adorable that I can't stop smiling.

I think I always wanted something like this, being with someone who just openly adores me. I feel like a prince in a Christmas fairy tale, proud as a peacock as I follow him out in the street. Yet, I am just waiting for that moment when he tells me to leave, because he has to go see his granny or some other lame excuse to ensure I skip out of his life, never to return.

I don’t want to skip anywhere. I kind of want to stay like this forever. I want to sleep in his bed tonight... well, after I have gone home to get some clothes, and I think he might faint if I bring my leather jockstrap. I have a pair of red boxers that really do it for me as well. They are so tight and thin that you can see everything through them, and I like how they hug my arse. I also have a plug that might come in handy. So many ideas, so many future nights when we can play them out.

“You drive a what?” I shriek as he stops by a green antique-looking Fiat. It’s a bloody Fiat! A model I don’t even know the name of, but at least it’s not rusty, and looks kind of… customised to hell.

“It’s a Fiat.” He smiles. “My first car. I got it for free too. A mate of my dad’s was going to scrap it, and I got it to play around with for my college project. I ended up rebuilding the engine from scratch, and then I have just rewired, and you know, fixed parts here and there, replaced parts of the chassis…”

“The tyres are too big for her.”

“Yup, they are test tyres, free samples. They are quite good, but you’re right, too big. At least no stupid boy racer will try to steal her, because she looks totally shit on the outside.”

“Are you going to say she’s better on the inside?” I open the door and stare at the passenger seat. There are piles of rubbish in the floor well, and the whole thing smells of gym gear and damp trainers. A little bit of sweat… and old car.

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