Page 29 of Baking Battles

“I know.” Mattias smiles back. “Now go and ask Jacob Slagsvold if he is single.”

Pernille just tugs at his hair with the hairbrush, smiling secretly.

“So, you are gay?” Pernille questions, swishing her purple hair in his face. “I thought Pablo said you were bi?”

“Whatever.” Mattias just shakes his head and stands up, balancing Emi on his hip as he walks out with his head held high.

Placing Emi on his worktop on his workstation doesnotgo unnoticed, however much Mattias wishes it would. Because, Danijel is right up in his face, hissing, “What the fuck, Mattias?” Whilst Caroline is rattling off demands into her headset, and Pablo has already kidnapped Emi over to his station, showing her all the pretty pastel-coloured baking tins he has brought in for his bread-baking extravaganza. Mattias hasn’t even thought of a tin. Luckily Emi gets rescued by Alima, who gives her some squishy cuddles, before Paulina steals her away, and then suddenly Magnus and Ida are taking selfies with their favourite contestant, Emi aged two, which Mattias has to put a stop to before Emi becomes Ida’s latest conquest, already babbling about the toddler trend in the world of social media influencers, and Magnus looks a little blank.

“Mattias!!” Danijel shoves him in the chest. Maybe a little hard. Like he’s pissed off. Well, Danijel spends most of his time being pissed off with people, so what’s new? “You brought the kid to work? What the hell are you thinking?”

“You were supposed to have me voted offfirst.” He almost shouts at Danijel, at the last minute remembering that Emi probably shouldn’t see her daddy barking orders at Uncle Danijel.

“You were supposed to be crap at baking?” Danijel hisses back, looking unhinged. Which also is kind of normal.

“I never said I was crap at it, I just know some things. Little things. Basic stuff. And anyway, I have no childcare, so either I’m here, or I quit. Easy.”

“I would have had you kicked off right now if not for our test audience who loved you and absolutely ship you and Pablo. You are good on TV. Angry and competitive. People like that. The test audience also voted my sister the most likely winner, so don’t fucking blame me for all this. You know how this shit works.”

“Which bloody test audience?” Mattias almost spits out. “Your mum and dad and the rest of the family?”

“Of course!” Danijel laughs, “...and a randomly chosen bunch of sullen University students who will watch unedited raw footage for three hours with free coffee and two hundred kroners thrown in for their time.”

“Twat.” Mattias hisses as Magnus gets in his personal space, giving him a man hug with a few slaps on the back. “Heard you are out and proud. Good on you.”

“Whatever.” Mattias huffs. Then smiles. Then stomps off, only to return to his workstation empty-handed. He hasn’t got a clue what he is supposed to be doing.

“She’s gorgeous.” Paulina whispers and hands Emi back to Mattias, who takes a second to get his face right in Emi’s neck. He just needs to chill. Just needs to breathe, as Emi wriggles like a fish out of water, shouting, “Let me down. Let me down. LET MEDOWN!!”

“Thank God I have you,” he whispers to himself. Because she is all he has got. Everything he needs. She makes everything worth it. Every little shitty thing he has to go through is worth it, when he gets to be Emi’s Daddy.

“Kids.” Magnus nods appreciatively. “Worth all the shit that comes along with them. I have a nine-year-old kid. Best thing I ever did, that broken condom. He lives with his mama, but I see him every weekend. Best time of the week. Love him. I fucking adore him.”

For a minute, Magnus looks all overcome with emotion, his eyes watering and a smile forming on his lips.

“Respect,” he says, and fist bumps Mattias across the worktop. “Man to man. Dad to dad. We should hang out one weekend. Do kids’ stuff. Walk. Camp. Chill. Create some beats.”

Before Mattias can reply, Magnus is off again, drumming to some silent rhythm in his head, and then doing a little squeal and jump at the sight of his collection of whisks being placed back on his own table.

“I’m winning that Battle Baker thing today. Seriously, because I have the perfect revenge thing to pull on you, glitter boy.” He shouts across at Pablo, who just laughs and does a little curtsy.

“Bring it on, drummer boy. You can’t take anything away from me that I can’t just magic up with fairy dust, baby.” Pablo sasses back, and Magnus blows him a kiss.

“Mattias!” Caroline is almost panting with excitement again.

“Caroline, I’m still gay.” He can’t stop laughing. It’s just a fucking mess, a TV studio full of loons. But, he’s started this now, and in a way he feels free. Relieved. Stupid. Slightly hysterical.

“Thank God for that, because otherwise I might have asked you out and that would have been mortifyingly embarrassing. No, twat face, I have Signe from HR coming down to get a Child Talent contract drawn up so we can show Emi on screen. Also, Rukshana up in Legal is a licensed chaperone, so she will come down after their morning meeting and keep Emi safe. You will have to let her know about food and whatever else. I don’t know, nappies. Is she in nappies? Rukshana asked. Anyway.”

“Fine.” Mattias almost hisses, as the prop staff come and load up the ingredients he has asked for, for his first challenge. “Do you have dark rye flour? This one says light rye mix.” He’s a little stressed, his voice on edge and he’s being a little bit dismissive. Rude. Just a little. And Emi seems to have disappeared again, only to pop up over by Ida’s workstation, popping a piece of chocolate in her mouth.

It’s going to be a long day. Averylong day.

“Christmas is a time of fun, of family and laughter and traditions and rules. As our ancestors before us, we follow the ways of Christmas we are taught as children, hand-me-down decorations, and recipes and stories being passed on from one generation to the next. We eat the same foods at Christmas morning every year, followed by the safety and joy of the same lunch menu and the inevitable festivities of the traditional meals, as lovingly prepared by generations of cooks and bakers. But sometimes...”

Christopher stops and picks up Emi, who smiles and on cue, shrieks out “Clistopler!” to the delight of the studio who all ignore the ‘silence’ code to do a subdued, “Ahhhhww,” whilst Christopher flashes an adoring smile and places Emi confidently on his hip.

“Sometimes it’s time to break with tradition. Screw the rules. Make some new memories that the future generation will remember and teach their future children. Sometimes it’s good not to conform, and to say, I know we do this every year, but this year, why don’t we just break the rules? Do things differently? Laugh a little louder. Eat a little healthier. Hug a little longer. Love a little more. Be a friend to that person we work with, and yes, sod it, Have that extra drink or piece of cake. Get out of bed at midnight and have a piece of bread with cheese. With a glass of red wine and a lit candle on the coffee table. Snuggle up with the people we love and just let ourselves be. Remember to be. Because Christmas should be special. Christmas should be about food and love and cakes and… yes. Bread. The staple of every meal and of course the topic of this week's show.”

“Bread!” Emi shrieks and claps her hands, as Christopher laughs perfectly into the camera.

“I’m Christopher Pedersen, andthis, is Baking Battles.”

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