Page 103 of Goaltender Interference

“So, uh, how did youknow?” Nolan asked, glancing up through his lashes, expression painfully earnest and uncertain.

“Uhh, that I was bi?” Jesse guessed, because he couldn’t imagine what else Nolan would be so uncomfortable about.

Nolan nodded.

“Shit, I don’t even remember,” Jesse said. “I was always kinda …”

In pre-school, his version of hide and seek had involved kissing whoever he found. And he hadn’t been picky about if they were boys or girls.

“Oh.”

“But not everyone figures it out right away,” Jesse pointed out with a shrug. “Lots of people don’t.”

Your father didn’t, he thought, but he couldn’t exactly tell Nolan.

“No?”

“Nope.” Jesse wracked his brain for an example. “Oh, so my former teammate, Felix Hale, he didn’t realize he was bi until he was like thirty.”

“Really?”

“Really. But he’s kinda slow anyway. The dude practically acted married to his best friend, Jonah, long before they were dating. It should have been fucking obvious. They’re both idiots though. Nice guys, but, you know, kinda dumb.”

Nolan cracked a smile. “But what if I think I might not be bi. What if I think I might … might begay.”

The last part came out as a whisper and Jesse’s heart ached because fuck, this had to be so hard for him. Because while being bi came with its own set of complications, being gay seemed tougher in the world of hockey.

“Okayyy,” Jesse said. “Well, that’s cool if you are.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I know Uncle Anders is bi, but I think I might, um, like guys more, you know? Like Uncle Kelly does.”

“Sure. You could still be bi even if you like guys more. But if you aren’t interested in girls at all, then you’ll kinda know. But, you know, it’s cool if you don’t know too. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away.”

Nolan nodded.

“So, I’m just saying, you havetimeto figure it out. It doesn’t have to be something you ever have to decide, really. And whatever you decide, you can choose to come out or not come out.” He shrugged. “They’re all good. Whatever feels the most comfortable for you.”

“Right, I know.”

“Am I the first person you’ve told?” Jesse crunched into a carrot.

Nolan gave a short nod.

Shiiiiiit. “Well, I’m really honored you felt like you could talk to me.”

Because sure, Jesse had walked in on him and Kyler but they weren’t actuallydoinganything. Nolan could have easily pretended like nothing had happened. Though Jesse kinda suspected Nolan was as bad of a liar as his father was. Maybe he’d been afraid Jesse would call him out or something.

Or that he’d tell his father.

“You’re just so …” Nolan looked up. “So, like …cooland stuff. And you seem like you have it all figured out.”

Jesse threw back his head and laughed. “Isodon’t. And don’t let any adult fool you into thinking they do. We’re all making it up as we go. But I’m totally flattered you think that about me.”

Connor sure didn’t think that about him, but thankfully, Connor seemed into his chaos demon ways.

Nolan gave him another smile, this one more relaxed and natural looking. “Well, I thought you’dgetit at least.”

“I’m always happy to listen,” Jesse said. Because honestly, he didn’t really get it. He’d never felt freaked out about his sexuality. He’d always been himself and his family had never made a big deal of it and even his teammates had been cool for the most part. But for Nolan’s sake, he wanted to understand. To make him feel supported.

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