Page 154 of Wild Blades

“I don’t know how to fix this, Wade.” Hopelessness slips into his words.

“Neither do I, but I want to,” I tell him honestly. “I’m not sure if I can ever forgive you. You made me believe you were my friend. Someone who cared about my well-being and my career.”

“I am. Why the hell do you think I pulled a support team together for you?”

“Guilt.” I take a guess.

“No”

“To save the reputation of the team?” That’s more accurate given what he’s confessed.

“That too, but I brought that team in for you. Because you’re a sensational hockey player. Hockey runs through your blood, and you were throwing your career away. I wasn’t going to let you do that.”

My blood burns white hot. “I lost the people I loved. Amelia first, then Gretchen. They both left me. I had no one. Have you got any idea what I’ve been through? And you never once asked me how I was.”

He looks at me with pity filled eyes…or maybe it’s guilt.“I swear to you, Wade, I had no idea she treated you the way she did. Kali filled Nicki in on a few home truths. And I didn’t know Gretchen died. You never told anyone.” He’s right. Jordy was the only one I told on the team. Ezra and Myles came to the funeral too, but I even planned the funeral on a day when there was no training or games. I didn’t want anyone on the team to know.

I point at my chest, my voice louder than I wanted, because the last thing I want to do is lose my shit. I can’t go back down that lane again. However, Marcus is making me want to punch a hole in his face. “Gretchen was the only person who actually cared about me. Because your mistress,” I can’t bear to say hername, it’s like poison on my lips, “never did. She was a great actress, so no one knew how dreadful she was. You may have been dazzled by her beauty, but it was all an act. She’s certainly revealed her true colors to you eventually, huh? She slept with your son.”

He shakes his head in disgust.

My words keep pouring out, “She’s disgusting and an ugly crow under all that façade. So, forgive me for losing myself for a few months, but I had nobody to turn to. How could I go to the woman who dished out years of verbal abuse like hot dinners? How could I have asked her for help? She would have been as useful as I am right now. That’s why I went off the rails, not because I’m an asshole, unlike your other son.”

“He’s getting professional help now. I’m done covering for him.”

“He’ll need years in therapy.” After what he did to Kali, I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive him.

“He’s your brother.”

“He’s nothing to me right now. To me, he is someone who has taunted me my entire hockey career.”

“He’s jealous of you, Wade.”

I scoff and roll my eyes. “Jealous? I don’t think so.”

“It’s true. He’s talented, but he has to put in the extra effort, extra training sessions, more than anyone. Your talent comes naturally. You’re gifted. He’s good, you’re great. His jealousy is so obvious. Can’t you see it?”

I didn’t, but maybe he’s right.

“I promise you, he’s not the same man he was the night at the hotel, Wade. He’s been going to therapy, and he’s changed for the better. You have my word.”

Which doesn’t count for much these days.

I rub my fingers into my temples. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. You know, the best thing to ever happen to mewas being drafted. It gave me hope. It bought us this house, so we could get away from my sorry excuse of a mother. Gretchen was my mom. Not her.” I point off into the distance, referring to the woman who is probably doing God knows what with God knows who. “And now you’ve made me question everything. My ability. My gift. Is that what you called it? My career. Am I good enough to play for an NHL team? Do I even belong there?”

He shoots up to his feet. “You belong there, Wade.” He points at me. “There was never any doubt about that. You’ve been a phenomenal hockey player since you were seven and don’t ever let anyone ever tell you any different. There was no favoritism.”

Part of me wants to believe him. The other part of me is confused and doubtful.

I don’t know who or what to trust anymore.

“You never watched me play when I was younger. How would you know?”

“I was at every game you played.” His voice rises.

“For the Eagles, yes,” I confirm.

“No. Before that.”

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