Page 93 of Bargain with the Irish Devil

“Oh good, this is a much better pump.” The nurse nods. “Thankfully all bottles have the same size on the lid. So sure, pump into your bottles or ours, it doesn’t matter which one.”

I’m grateful Declan isn’t fazed in the slightest with helping me put on the first pump. It’s operated by a little pink and black remote to increase the suction. He holds it up without a word while I try to figure out the remote, not doing it for me—allowing me to get comfortable with it. Once I’m good I give him a shy smile. “Thank you.”

He shakes his head, andone side of his beautifully molded mouth slides up. “There is no need to tell me thank you. You are doing all the hard work right now.”

“Yeah, and you’re not freaked out or grossed out by any of it… And thank you because I’m kind of both of those right now. Except I can’t be with you not being, and so, yeah. Thank you.”

His lips are pressed against mine. “You’re welcome. Now are yousure you’re good for Aoife to come up? She understands if you’re not.”

“I am. I miss her.” I reassure him. And I really have. She came up to see me yesterday and promised me everything I needed would be ready when I got home.

She’s been so excited for the baby. Her daughter made it clear she had no interest in children and the only type of grandchildren she was giving Aoife was of the cat variety. And I’m grateful as hell Aoife’s daughter was pleased I’m giving Aoife the grandkids she always wanted—and not resentful of how much Aoife has been helping me with all of this.

The bottles fill up faster than I thought they would. Declan is back again, helping me put a lid on one and taking the other from me while I work to stem the flow.

“Oh, how embarrassing.” I cringe.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Declan shakes his head as hescrews in another bottle to catch the milk still flowing. “You’re doing what needs to be done for our son.”

There’s something else he was going to say, I can tell. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“Declan, what? You have to tell me. It’s gross?—”

“No, it’s fucking not.” The words are out of him harsh and fast.

I’m wide-eyed.

Sighing, “I am seriously wondering if it’s perverse to find you sexy as fuck right now. It’s not gross, but I sure as hell shouldn’t want you as much as I do right now. I mean, fucking hell you just had a baby and?—”

I lean into him and allow my mouth to fall on his. “You’re really weird to find this hot. It’s totally perverse. And I love you so much right now.”

His chuckle runs over my mouth. “I’m going to spank you so hard. I swear.”

The bottle is filling up as I move it away from my breast. Studying my body, I cannot understand what he likes about it. But as I flick my eyes up to Declan, his eyes are glued to the tear of milk hanging from my nipple. “Do you want to try it?”

I barely finish the question before he lowers his head. I’m holding my breath as he licks the drop away. Closing my eyes, I send my hand into his hair and hold him in place. I feel the warm breath of air… Oh, oh. His mouth closes around my breast, and oh god. It’s fucked up—seriously perverse to love how it feels as he suckles from me. Unlike Killian, he didn’t suck at just the nipple, so there’s no pain at all.

When he stops, I sigh from the loss, my hand sliding down his body as he straightens. “Why did you let me do that? I’m not supposed to be getting hard over my wife feeding my son. And now I’m going to be hard just thinking of you feeding him. That’s seriously perverse?—”

The knock at the door of my room stops him and has me laughing. Oh. “Ouch. Fuck. The pain meds are wearing off. Come in.”

It’s Aoife.

Declan is up, pressing the button for the nurse. “I’ll call her for pain. Anything else?”

I shake my head, sure if there’s anything I need—he’ll know it before I will.

CHAPTER 28

Miranda

Killian is stronger than the doctor first thought when he was born. So I get too excited about him maybe going home with me. But even though I end up staying for four days after my cesarian, I have to leave my baby behind in the NICU when I left the hospital. And I cried about it all the way home.

The very next day, I was at the hospital within an hour after I woke up, and I stayed there until late at night. Declan didn’t argue or do anything to urge me away from the hospital. All he does is stay by my side and do everything he can to make it easy for me.

I’m crying on the way home again. It’s been two weeks, and I was hoping this was the time we would get to bring Killian home. Except the doctors don’t think he’s ready.

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