Page 29 of Cup of Lies
You deserve it.
“Caius.” Small hands cup my wet cheeks and LuLu bores her dark stare into mine. “It’s okay.”
She’s never spoken my name before. Not once. Never.
I understand now.
I’m a monster.
A captor.
Evil.
A choked sob rattles out of my chest. The floodgates are open and it’s gushing out. How do I stop the cataclysmic onslaught of the vicious memories of a guilty conscience?
I deserve to die right here.
Smack!
My cheek stings, but LuLu’s slap is effective in jarring me out of the panic attack that was unfolding. I blink at her, conveying a thousand apologies in just one look
“LuLu,” I whisper, voice raspy and brittle. “I remember now.”
A small smile tugs at her lips. “Don’t forget.”
Shaking my head, I say vehemently, “Never.”
It’s a promise I intend on keeping. I have to pull my shit together long enough to get back to my house and make a solid plan. I’m getting LuLu the fuck out of here, far, far away from my father.
He wasn’t the one watching as she was violated…
I want to beg for her forgiveness, but I know I don’t deserve it. In that moment, I chose another life over hers. To me, Calista was the end game and of utmost importance. Having to witness what happened to LuLu was a terrible consequence of that choice.
It was a horrendous mistake. A mistake only a fucked-up, brain-scarred human like myself could make. Any good person would’ve stopped it.
Romy didn’t.
I think back to her hiding in the cabinet, witnessing everything. She saw the monster I was and still wanted to be with me.
My memories are still foggy when it comes to our relationship, but I know we were together after that. I have flashes of seeing her in my house putting puzzles together. She stayed with me for some reason.
“I’m going to get you out of here,” I vow to LuLu. “Back to your home wherever that is. Just…” I run a hand through my hair, messing it up. “I need to be smart about this.”
She nods, eyes flaring. “I trust you.”
An ache forms in the middle of my chest. I don’t deserve her trust, but I’m going to earn it. I’ll die freeing this girl if it’s the last thing I do.
I’m done being selfish.
The time for turning a blind eye on things that should be condemned is over.
“Dry your eyes,” LuLu says, handing me a wadded up tissue from her pocket. “Theo will wonder what’s wrong.”
I take her offering and swipe at my cheeks. Then I swivel around to the computer and start snapping pictures of anything I deem important that I might want to look at later. This goes on for at least fifteen minutes until Theo reenters the room.
After shutting down all folders except Olivia’s, I stand and make my way over to my brother. His eyes narrow as he studies me.
“Headache,” I grunt, pointing at my temple. “You think you can run me and Lu—” I curse under my breath. “Sorry, can’t think straight. Can you take me and Calista home?”
