Page 61 of Cup of Lies

There’s so much we need to talk about, but holding her this morning while lightly toying with her blond hair as she sleeps doesn’t have me in any kind of hurry to wake her up.

Questions keep piling up in my head. The one that spins me around and around is how did we go from enemies to lovers to much more in the span of less than a year? This six-month separation, though I didn’t remember her again until recently, felt like a lifetime of being apart.

But when I saw her, cuffed to that bed, raped and abused, my heart roared in agony. I can’t explain the pain I felt in that moment. Excruciating, debilitating, maddening.

She’s safe now.

I can hear a small voice whispering from the floor and then slurping sounds of the dog licking. Kaitlyn tries to suppress a giggle but fails. This makes me smile. It fades when I remember she doesn’t know me as her uncle, but instead some murderer who killed her daddy.

Another reason to stay curled around Romy, nuzzling her hair.

Reality is too much to face right now.

“Mommy?” Kaitlyn whispers. “Mommy, wake up.”

I sit up on my elbow to face the little girl. When she sees me, a flicker of recognition glimmers in her eyes. Maybe there’s hope for us yet.

“Do you want breakfast?” I ask, trying not to appear intimidating in any way, shape, or form. “I bet your dog needs to go outside, too, huh?”

“Sunshine,” Kaitlyn says, eyes peeking up at me just over the edge of the bed. “She probably needs to poop.”

I scrunch my face at her and she lets out a silly giggle, clearly pleased at grossing me out with the mention of dog shit. This has Sunshine getting excited, yapping at her antics, which in turn makes her laugh more.

“Time to get up?” Romy asks with a yawn.

Leaning forward, I give her a kiss on her head. “Sleep in a little. I’ll make sure these two get breakfast.”

Kids are resilient and block out bad shit. Trust me, I know this from personal experience. I’m hoping this is the case for Kaitlyn. Maybe she’ll even actually remember who I am and that I’m not a bad guy.

You murdered a man in cold blood.

You’re a bad guy.

I feel zero remorse. Watching Portman bleed out, naked and helpless, was satisfying as fuck. He deserved far worse for what he did. Far fucking worse. He got off easy if you ask me.

After me and Kaitlyn each take turns in the bathroom and are dressed, I lead her and Sunshine out of the stupid football room. Voices can be heard in the living area of the clubhouse.

“Bermuda has a big spread going at the big house,” Nees says from the sofa, engrossed with his phone. “They’re all awake over there.”

Kaitlyn sticks to my side, clearly choosing me as her protector over Nees. I relax slightly. Perhaps she trusts me simply for the fact her mother does.

Not her real mom.

Try telling those two that. An outsider would have no clue they weren’t related. They clearly love each other a lot.

As soon as we go outside, Sunshine trots off to sniff around to get the lay of the land. Kaitlyn takes in the colorful scene around us. We’re surrounded by every shade of green on the trees, grass, and brush. The sky this morning is bright blue and cloudless. Maybe everything seems more intense because I’m finally out of my mind fog.

Kaitlyn sees a patch of flowering weeds and runs over to pick them. I don’t stop her. Kid can collect whatever she damn well pleases after the shit she’s gone through. Sunshine becomes interested in what she’s doing and then starts eating the yellow flowers.

I give a sharp whistle, and the dog jerks her head guiltily my way. “Let’s get some real food.”

Kaitlyn clutches her flowers and comes back over to my side. Sunshine dutifully follows, tail swishing happily.

There’s such a serenity in this moment.

Is this how normal people live?

My entire life has been such a mindfuck. Not having to be on guard or constantly searching is freeing.

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