Page 41 of Set In Stone

It was a long time ago, but not so long that I could forget the lesson I learned. Tonight, Krystina’s expression was like a ghost from the past. Never before had I worked her over like I just did. The flogger fell from my hand and hit the floor with a thud as the realization hitme.

She had been ready to use hersafeword.

“Forgive me,” I whispered in a voice so low that she couldn’thear.

I hurried to remove her cuffs, first her wrists and then her ankles. I spun her to face me, crushing her weakened body to my chest as I placed a palm on her cheek. I wanted to kiss every inch of her beautiful body and make the pain, the pain I caused her, go away. I tilted her head up to look atme.

“I’m so sorry,angel.”

I stared into the depths of her expressive eyes, desperately trying to get a read on what she wasthinking.

“Why are you sorry?” she asked. Her voice sounded sluggish, but she seemed genuinely confused. It caught me completely off guard. I had expected her to sound despondent, or perhaps even angry. Either emotion would bedeserved.

“There’s a line between pain and pleasure. I crossed it and pushed you too far. I showed no discipline. I never should have –,” I stopped as she brought a single finger to my lips to silenceme.

“Did I use mysafeword?”

“No, but…” I shook my head. I didn’t think she did, but I had been so lost in the moment that it was possible I didn’t hear it. Just like the last time. The high I got from inflicting pain was an inherited sickness from my father. I knew I was like him the moment I broke the rules with the unnamed woman at Club O. Tonight I confirmed it. Only this time, I had hurt the woman Iloved.

“But nothing,” sheinsisted.

“Angel, you told me no. That should have been enough to make mestop.”

She shook herhead.

“You’re the one who taught me the importance of a safeword. You said the word no could bemisunderstood.”

“Don’t make excuses for me, Krystina. I know what I did,” I spat out bitterly, feelingashamed.

“Listen to me. When I said no tonight, I meant no more flogging because I needed release, Alex. Nothing more. Call me twisted, but I was incredibly turned on. However, I will say that you did test my limits,” she admitted. Her mouth tilted up in a wry smile as she reached around to rub her backside. “We probably won’t be able to do that again anytime soon. I might need a fewdays.”

And then she let out a quiet laugh. Like it wasfunny.

She’s joking? How can she possibly be so flippant rightnow?

“Krystina, no. I…” I trailed off, unable to find words to describe how much of a bastard Iwas.

“Alex, what’s really thematter?”

“What’s the matter?” I repeated incredulously. “You should be livid and lashing out at me. I know what I did. The marks on your back are proof. I’m a monster and you deservebetter.”

“Stop this right now!” she exclaimed forcefully, catching me by surprise. She wasn’t quite shouting, but I winced nonetheless. “You can’t keep insisting that I know everything about you, but then try to convince me that you’re not good for me. I know you, dammit! I know what’s in your heart, but it’s like you’re trying to convince you and me both that you are something you’renot.”

“No, it’s just that I don’t want you to forget where I came from. I know what’s inside me, just waiting to come out. I can mask it, but it’s always there,Krystina.”

“You’re not your father,Alex.”

“His blood runs through my veins. I can’t change that, nor can I forgetit.”

“No. You are different. I gave you permission to lose control, yet you didn’t.” She paused and tilted her head to the side contemplatively. “Or, perhaps in your mind, you did. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Alex. You have always read the reactions of my body and today was nodifferent.”

I searched her face as a million emotions flooded through me. Her eyes were so expressive. If I looked hard enough, I could see into the depths of her soul. She was a warrior, wild and strong, and so beautiful that it hurt to look at her. She didn’t put up with any bullshit, yet having such a strong woman willingly submit her body to me made me hard. She was perfect and, at times, I wondered if she were real or if she really was an angel sent to saveme.

The gravity of my actions, of what I did to her, was a crushing weight to my chest. I didn’t deserve her patience and understanding. Her strength and determination was something to berevered.

I’m such a fuckingasshole.

I couldn’t erase what I did, but I needed to do something – anything to ease myguilt.

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