Page 80 of Heart of Stone

As the new realization took root, I found it difficult to look at Hale in the eyes. The confidence that I had felt upon entering the building was suddenly gone, replaced by embarrassed insecurities. Words tumbled out of my mouth awkwardly.

“I, um…thanks, Hale,” I timidly returned, and quickly ducked into the waiting elevator.

The doors closed and I waited while the lift climbed. Alone, in the confined space of the elevator, my apprehension grew. I knew that I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t control my wavering conviction. And it wasn’t just because of the awkwardness I had just experienced with Hale. After the research I did earlier today, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was walking blindly into a lion’s den.

I swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in my throat, as the elevator continued its ascent. The downward force of rising so quickly did nothing to help it, and the lump quickly settled into a knot in the pit of my stomach.

What am I doing? I must be crazy.

The elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open. Alexander was waiting for me. He was leaning against a wall, a diabolical expression on his handsome face.

“Good evening, Krystina,” he drawled out.

Just one look at him and I instantly paled. I struggled to control the tremble of nerves that threatened to take over.

I didn’t step into a lion’s den – it’s more like I casually strolled into the devil’s lair.

Pictures from the internet, combined with childhood nightmares of monsters and vampires, flashed in my mind. I had no trouble picturing Alexander wielding a whip, with me shackled to some dirty dungeon wall while a strange masked man sucked my blood.

“Krystina, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Alexander rushed to my side in alarm, his long legs closing the distance between us in a matter of seconds.

“It’s nothing. I just…it’s nothing,” I said, shaking my head to rid my overactive imagination of the dark images.

This is real life, not some Stephen King flick.

“I hope you’re still not worried about being drunk last night, because I can assure you, it’s no big deal. It happens to the best of us,” he stated offhandedly.

Yeah, right.

I found it difficult to believe that the sophisticated Alexander Stone allowed himself to ever get drunk. Not even once.

“No, no – it’s not that,” I assured him, still feeling uneasy. “We just need to talk about some things, that’s all.”

“Come into the living room. I already have drinks poured and a fire going,” he said, gently taking hold of my elbow and guiding me over to one of the leather sofas.

The heat of the fire felt good, warming my suddenly cold and clammy hands. Once we were comfortably seated, Alexander handed me a glass of some sort of yellowish-brown liquid. Brandy, port, whiskey – it didn’t matter what it was. I took a huge gulp, experiencing the pungent syrupy taste as it went down. I allowed myself a minute to gather my thoughts, letting the warmth of the alcohol wash over me.

Alexander’s eyebrows rose in astonishment.

“Sorry,” I apologized sheepishly, and quickly set the drink on the coffee table.

“Krystina, just tell me what’s on your mind,” he demanded, but his concern was unmistakable. The way I half emptied my glass had understandably taken him by surprise. It even took me by surprise.

Drunk last night, pounding em’ down again tonight – at this rate, I’ll be in AA before the end of the week.

“I’m not sure where to start…” I trailed off.

“Take your time.” He watched me, patiently waiting for me to continue.

It’s okay.He needs to know and you need to have your questions answered.

I took a deep breath.

“Look, I haven’t been with anyone in two years…at least not sexually. And to be honest, I haven’t wanted to. Being alone has suited me just fine. I had no interest in relationships or dating, and even sex. Until I met you.”

“Krystina, if you want a relationship –.”

“Please, Alex. Just listen. I have to get this out,” I conveyed, holding up a hand to stop him from talking. “I’m not looking for some life long commitment – I’m good with just the sex. But you have to understand that agreeing to be with you is a huge step for me. It’s very important that we keep it simple – no strings attached. I’m not ready for any emotional attachments. I’m trusting that you’ll keep it that way.”

---