Page 9 of Heart of Stone

I made a move towards the door, but he blocked my way.

“Is it because he’s loaded?” Jim asked accusingly.

The fact that he thought so little of me stung. I couldn’t explain tomyselfwhy I lost my head yesterday. I couldn’t possibly explain it to Jim. Yesterday I didn’t even know who the man was, let alone that he was filthy rich. Jim was so far off the mark.

“Move out of the way, Jim. I didn’t sleep well last night and I have zero energy for an argument today.”

“No, seriously – I want to know. I can’t figure you out. You’re always so disinterested, like you hate men or something,” he said in exasperation. “What makes this guy so different?”

“I’m not having this discussion with you.”

“You never want to have any sort of discussion with me! I’ve been asking you out for as long as I can remember, only to have you turn me down every time!”

His voice was getting louder by the minute. I looked around and was thankful to find that we were the only ones in the break room at that moment.

“I don’t always turn you down,” I weakly replied.

“No, you’re right. You always put me off instead.”

Ouch.

He was right about that one, but it hurt all the same. I took a deep breath to calm my own rising temper, and resigned myself to the inevitable. I should have been more truthful a long time ago.

“Look, Jim – I could apologize, but I really have nothing to apologize for. I just have no interest in dating.”

“Why not? Are you a lesbian or something?” he asked, reaching up to scratch his head in confusion.

“No, I’m not a lesbian,” I said with a light laugh, momentarily amused.

“This isn’t funny to me, Krys.”

He was right. Making light of this wouldn’t help the situation and I sobered almost immediately. I had to make sure he understood my position once and for all.

“I’m going to be honest here. You’re a great guy and I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you don’t want to be with someone like me. Besides, you and I both know that there’s nothing there. No spark,” I finished frankly, waving my hand back and forth between the two of us. “At least not for me anyways.”

I tried to be gentle, conscious of his feeling towards me, but I was sure that I came off as a crotchety bitch. I sucked in situations like this.

He stared at me for a long moment, taking in what I had said. I watched his face fall and his shoulders slump, all of his anger slipping away to a look of defeat. He looked down at his feet and shifted his weight from side to side. He looked so deflated.

Maybe I’m being too harsh.

When he looked up, his eyes were pained with rejection.

“Well, at least you’re giving it to me straight for once, even though I sort of knew all along. It just sucks hearing you say it out loud.”

“Jim, I’m sorry. Really I am. I don’t mean to hurt you.”

That was the truth, and it killed me to see his desolate expression. Although I found Jim to be somewhat annoying, he was still a decent guy. It would have been so much easier if I had just lied and told him that Iwasa lesbian.

I’m such a jerk.

I moved towards the door again, unable to look at him any longer. This time, he didn’t block my way.

“Krys?” he called after me. I paused in the doorway, afraid of what else he might say.

“Yes,” I answered hesitantly.

“Your spark is in aisle nine.”

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