Page 144 of Heart of Stone

“You don’t have to finish,” Alexander said beseechingly.

I looked up into his beautiful eyes, so full of patience and understanding. A weaker version of myself may have folded right then and there, seeking the comfort of his embrace to protect myself from the rest of the world. However, I wasn’t that person anymore. I knew that I was stronger than that. Determination settled in my bones with a renewed confidence that turned my spine to steel.

You can do this.

I squared my shoulders and took a deep, self-assured breath.

“He came at me, but I was no match against him. He beat me,” I paused, struggling to get the rest out. “And he forced himself on me.”

“He raped you?”

I winced at hearing Alexander voice the brutality that I refused to acknowledge, even after all this time.

“Yes, he raped me.”

Uttering those few words made me feel as if I was being ripped apart from the inside. The pain was tremendous, yet I felt a certain amount of relief through the hurt. It was as if the weight of the entire world had been removed from my shoulders.

“Fuck, Krystina,” Alexander swore, his voice full of venom. “I…I knew there was something. But I had no idea.”

He pulled me close to him, but this time I welcomed his embrace. His touch seeped a little bit of warmth into my blood that seemed to be flowing arctic cold.

“I tried to reach Allyson, but I didn’t know where she was and she wasn’t answering her phone. I waited for her all night,” I choked on the last sentence, as the memories from that fateful day began to take their toll on my strength. “When she finally came home the next morning, I was a mess. I couldn’t even speak, I just remember crying uncontrollably. Honestly, the entire thing is kind of foggy even now. One minute I was home, the next I was in a hospital bed. There were doctors and police officers asking me questions…but I couldn’t get the words out.”

Alexander pulled back suddenly, alarm spreading over his handsome features.

“I hope you don’t think…I mean, when I talk about punishing you, you know that it’s different than –,” he started, but I cut him off before he would finish.

“I know it’s different. At first, I worried that what happened might get in the way. But you convinced me to trust you in that regard, and you unknowingly taught me the difference between pleasure that comes from pain, and pain that comes from violence.”

Alexander squeezed me tighter to him.

“I’ve always underestimated your strength, but I can’t help but to apologize. I would have done things differently with you had I known this earlier,” he murmured into my hair.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad that you didn’t know because I wouldn’t want to change anything. In fact, I always worried that people would look at me differently if they knew what happened with Trevor. I couldn’t even talk about it to the therapists that I tried going to. I was serious when I said that I never told anyone the details of that night up until now.”

“Nobody?” he asked.

“Like I said, not even Allyson.”

He abruptly pulled back to look at me. All of the compassion was gone, and I was alarmed by the amount of anger that flashed in his eyes.

“You said that there were police at the hospital. Are you saying that you never even told them? He walked?”

“Alex, I was in so much pain that day – emotionally and physically. I was too weak to admit the truth to myself, let alone to a stranger in a uniform. So, yes – I let him walk.”

He searched my face carefully, although I wasn’t sure of what exactly he was trying to find.

Is he looking at me now with different eyes? Will he still touch me the same way?

After a moment, I tore my gaze from his. I didn’t want to entertain the many ways my revelation could change our relationship. However, he took my chin in his hand and turned my head back to look at him.

“Do not blame yourself,” he said vehemently.

“What makes you think that I’m blaming myself?”

“Because you said thatyoulet him walk. And I’m familiar with that look on your face. My mother wore that look.”

I froze.

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