Page 14 of Remade

He sighed and folded his arms over his chest. “We got the rare opportunity to see him in action before we had to make a decision, Bo.” He nodded at me. “Lemme put it this way instead. Say he stays back here when the rest of us enter the bunker. Will knowing he’s out here distract you on the inside? Will you worry that someone else is out here and he’s a sitting duck?”

“Oh, fuck you.” I clenched my jaw and scrubbed my hands over my face. I didn’t want that scenario tumbling around in my head too.

But actually…I had no intention of putting all my eggs into the same underground basket.

Coach chuckled. “Now I gotta ask. Are you two serious?”

I shook my head, the question alone aging me ten years. “It’s way too soon to think about that, man. You know how I am with relationships. I fuck ’em up, and…” I spotted Leighton over by the backpacks. He grabbed a bottle of water. “I don’t wanna hurt him.”

That’s what it boiled down to in the end. I never wanted to hurt that guy. I never wanted to see him sad or fraught with anxiety. Since the day we’d met six years ago, his vulnerability had affected me.

I faced Coach again. “We hooked uponce. Right before I left.”

He stared at me and lifted a shoulder. “That tells me nothin’. We’ve spent two months with them—and something eventuallymade you cave. Right? Fuck, last I heard, you were still with Kristen.”

I made a face and looked away.

Kristen didn’t exist in my life anymore. And soon, neither would Leighton. ’Cause what if he’d heard me say that shit about us only hooking up once? Talk about downplaying a night I was never gonna forget. For the first time in my sorry goddamn life, I’d slept peacefully to the point where I’d barely moved.

I didn’t wanna be done with him.

Coach clapped me on the shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “You’ve got some shit to figure out, my man. In the meantime, he’s earned a spot on the team. Just put him in the back or something. I’ll go grab the latest from Intel.”

He walked away, and I ran a hand through my hair, knowing he was right. Leighton had earned both credit and respect, and not just from today. There was the shooting at my apartment too—and then the support he’d been to me as I’d slowly opened up about my brother’s death.

I exhaled and pinched the bridge of my nose.

This was how Leighton differed from everyone else. Had this been an ex-girlfriend—while we were dating—I would’ve ignored the problem and said shit would work out one way or another. Sometimes I accepted an assignment just so I could fuck off for a few weeks. And by the time I came home again, the previous issue would’ve been forgotten.

I didn’t wanna forget anything now. It was the opposite; I was constantly thinking back and analyzing my behavior to make sure I didn’t hurt him by being thoughtless. Well, except for when I managed to hurt him by deliberately being the dick who avoided him.

That had to stop.

Whether I liked it or not, he was part of today’s op, and he deserved a good unit commander. Not one who made him walk on eggshells.

“Recruit,” I said, nodding toward the forest on my left side. “I’d like a word.”

The instant nervousness in his expression was my fault.

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

I took the lead and walked toward the western sector, where I knew we had people on the lookout along the outer perimeter.

He trailed after me in silence.

I looked around to find a spot where we could have some privacy.

The scenery didn’t change in these woods. Maples, red oaks, and some other trees shared the forest, painting it orange this time of year. Especially now, closer to sunset.

We had about an hour’s worth of daylight left, and once I’d spoken to Leighton, it would be time to round up everyone for a strategy talk.

I came to a stop between two tall trees and looked back. Nobody could hear or see us from here.

He adjusted his helmet and stood straighter, his operator-in-training replacement for the poses drilled into his skull in the service. He still thought it felt unnatural to be so relaxed in his stance.

Time for honesty.

“I owe you an apology,” I said. His eyes flashed with surprise. “When I found out you were involved today—and trapped in that van with Coach—I almost lost my shit.” I cleared my throat and felt weirdly exposed, but he deserved to hear this. “If something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

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