He blows out a frustrated breath and shakes his head, the truth of his story taking him back to a place I know he never wanted to return to.
“I gave her an ultimatum. If she wanted to stay with me and have the baby then she needed to go back to rehab and get clean for good. Otherwise, she needed to get an abortion and leave me the hell alone.”
My stomach twists.
If she aborted the pregnancy, then he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did at seeing me pregnant, right? She wouldn’t have been showing at that early stage.
“She chose to keep it?” I ask, and he nods solemnly.
“Yes. And she agreed to rehab.”
“Did she go?”
“She did.” He exhales, and I don’t like the way his whole body tenses again before he speaks. “She lasted eighteen days and then disappeared. I searched for her. Followed every lead. Heard rumours about her selling her body for cash or drugs, even while her belly grew with my child inside it.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp and his lips thin.
The air shifts and our fingers break apart as he leans back, putting space between us. His muscles ripple with tension, his hands curling into fists as his breathing grows shallow. Sharp, like he’s holding himself back.
I don’t say anything, not wanting to pull him deeper into something he’s barely holding together. I already know this isn’t going to be a goodstory, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to hear it.
“I found her one day after a tip off,” he mutters, his tone more chilling than I’ve ever heard it as his hard gaze returns to mine. “She was in the city gardens… passed out.”
He pauses, coughing like he’s trying to clear a huge lump in his throat.
“She was fucking passed out in the bushes while a John was fucking her.”
My heart stops.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes.
I’m not sure I can hear anymore of this.
I don’t want to picture it, but it’s too late. I already am.
“All I could see was the bump where my baby was trying to survive inside her, while her legs were spread and her arms lay lifelessly in the dirt.”
Tears flood my eyes before spilling over, any control on my emotions lost as Ringo blurs in my vision.
“It wasn’t until we got closer that I noticed how deathly pale she was… and that the bump…” He stops. His lips part, but nothing comes out.
I swipe at my tears, angry that they dare fall when this isn’t my pain. It’s his.
He gulps, and blows out a slow, shaky breath, before clearing his throat again, and I brace myself.
“The bump… it wasn’t as big as it should’ve been.”
I stiffen, heat washing over me as fear sinks its claws into my heart.
“JD pulled the guy off her and that’s when…”
He leaps up, standing abruptly, his movements sharp and jerky like he can’t sit still any longer.
Storming away a few steps, he rakes both hands through his hair, a strangled sound falling from him as he gives me his back.
Pushing to my feet, I hurry to him, reaching out, unsure if he wants to be touched, but unable to stop myself.
“Ringo…” I trail off as my palm presses to his back, not sure what to say.