Page 9 of Bleeding Hearts

“Nothing to tell.” I shrug nonchalantly, but when our eyes meet, we burst into laughter and damn if it doesn’t hurt.

I guess we’re both floating down the river of denial and happy to live there for now.

Chapter 5

Bethany

Rehab is brutal.

I’ve been here two days and I’m over it. The wonderful people assisting with my recovery aren’t the problem; my overwhelming boredom is. There’s a limit to how much physical therapy a person can take. Leaving hours for me to sit around twiddling my thumbs.

Sitting still has never been my strong suit. I can’t even relax during a movie; I’m always tidying up, grading papers, or tending to my indoor plants. Anything I can do to get up and move. Which is what I cannot do right now because of these damn legs.

The main reason for my rehab stay is so my sister could make a quick trip home. She went to grab her car, make sure she had enough clothes for her extended visit, and keep her fertility doctor’s appointment. She’s given the last one considerable thought; it’s important to her. The bonus now is that the sexy helicopter pilot, Dillon, has offered to be her donor.

Did he still count as a donor when he wanted it to happen the old-fashioned way?

I like Dillon. He’s exactly what Alicia needs. Their budding relationship is key to breaking down her walls. Reopeningherself to vulnerability is crucial for her to fully heal. Her ex, Adam, did a number on her confidence—I don’t care what she says. My avoidance of relationships is partly due to him. My father is another—but that’s a story for another day. Why the hell would I want to have a relationship when men like Adam are out there, ready to lure me in and treat me like shit? Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather stay single and have my fun when the need arises. No strings. This way, no one gets hurt.

All I have to do is take a look at Felix and Finn’s dad for confirmation I’d chosen the right path. Why I ever slept with that man is beyond me. I attribute it to a lengthy day of psychology clinical during my path to getting licensed. He approached me. I was horny. We fucked. It lasted about a month. I quickly learned he was a no-good loser and moved on. Unfortunately, two weeks later, I peed on a stick that informed me he’d be a part of my life for the next eighteen years, probably more. Which is why, after I had the two most amazing guys I know, I kindly asked my doctor to tie those damn tubes so I wouldn’t have to go through it again.

Davis is the biggest loser I know. He can’t hold down a job longer than a year before his mouth or his laziness gets him fired. This last time took the cake. The idiot thought it was a good idea to punch his boss in the face after getting what I assume was a fairly accurate review. Not only was he fired on the spot, but he was arrested for assault and is now facing jail time. Serves him right. And while it would’ve been nice to have his help while I was recovering, at the same time, it’s not. Davis isn’t a great influence on the boys. When he shows up to take them for his weekend visitations—which ends up being like once every couple months, instead of every other weekend—they always come back forgetting I don’t tolerate rude behavior.

I don’t regret having the boys, but I didn’t want to have more with another random stranger. And because I knew I wouldnever settle down, because I don’t believe in monogamy or forever, it was my insurance. I like sex too much to just give that up. I just don’t like most men longer than it takes to get them naked and have some fun before I’m ready to send them on their way.

The sound of a throat clearing catches my attention. It’s a fucking good thing I’m seated, because the sight of Nolan in his tight fireman t-shirt and cargo pants would have landed me on my ass.

Or is it my back? I’d gladly let this man put me on my back.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” A deepening frown is accompanied by an eye roll and head shake. “Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

Turning my wheelchair, I grin at him. “Are you sure? It might make you turn that frown upside down.”

Without a word, his muscular form moves into the room, stopping next to me. “I thought you might be tired of bland, tasteless food, longing for something more exciting.”

Is he the exciting part? If the answer is yes, then he hit that nail on the head. I’m very much longing for whatever he’s offering.

His frown deepens as if he can read my thoughts. “It’s nice outside. I brought you lunch.”

My eyes land on a brown bag with a familiar logo on the front, making my mouth water when he gives it a shake and the scent of cinnamon fills the air. I might skip the meal and demand dessert first.

His hands grab the handles of my chair and the uniqueness of him invades my space, making me inhale deeply while I take it in. I know this means he’s showered recently, and not just because of the faint scent of Irish Spring lurking behind it. He’s the manliest smelling man I know, and it screams to the woman inside me, who unfortunately can’t do shit about it.

Not that I would. We’re neighbors. Will be for a long time.

Flirting with him may be fun, but it’s a bad idea to mix things up. It’s in my nature to tease. There’s no harm in admiring the eye-candy fate placed across the street.

Look, but don’t touch.

Well, except for that one time when he kissed me. We all experience moments of weakness, and I’m chalking that up as one of his. He hasn’t mentioned it since, nor attempted it again. Just stops by every couple of days to check in on me and report on things happening at the house.

“Is this a date?” I raise my hand to give his a gentle pat. “If I’d have known, I’d have primped more, put on something cute instead of this old thing.”

The uncertainty in his eyes has me snickering while fluttering my eyes.

That’s when he grasps that I’m joking and reacts with grunts and mumbles. “Fucking date. Woman, if I were to take you on a date, you’d know it.”

He brought it up, so I have to ask. “When was the last time you went on a date?”

---