Possessiveness and protectiveness war with my self-loathing and disgust. The possessive and protectiveness win—even though I can't explain how they've bloomed to the massive portions they currently are.
Neither Jerome nor Gabe tries to take Nova from me, nor do they look at me with judgment or disapproval or anything that resembles "I fucking told you so." We work as a unit.
Jerome opens Nova's bedroom, which was ready for her when I had first brought her here, while Gabe goes to get the supplies we'll need to rehydrate and nourish her. We can't call in the Santoro doctor because the need to keep it unknown that I have Nova has escalated. Her father will never get his hands on her again.
Jerome goes to the closet, and I carry Nova into the ensuite. I carefully sit with her cradled in my lap while I turn on the water to fill the tub.
"Don't make it too hot," Jerome says as he comes in. He grabs thick towels from the cupboard, and hangs them on the towel warmer.
Nova is cold, but she doesn't have hypothermia, where her core body temperature needs to be re-heated slowly. However, too hot of water will feel like thousands of needles stabbing her.
"Take her for a moment please, Jerome."
He sits down beside me, and I carefully transfer Nova into his arms. She needs an IV for fluids and nourishment, but those aren't set up yet, so I focus on what I can do. Warming her up, washing away the dirt and sins I stained her with by holding her prisoner in the basement.
I reach behind my head to pull my T-shirt off, then drop my sweatpants.
"You're sure about this, sir?" Jerome asks.
I appreciate his protectiveness of Nova, but she has nothing to fear from me. Not that she'll instantly know that, but I'll prove it to her—over and over if I have to.
"Go, Jerome."
He or anyone else wouldn't see my princess's nakedness.
Even though I haven't earned that right myself, these are dire circumstances…or so I tell myself.
I take Nova from Jerome, and he leaves, shutting the door behind him.
With her in my lap again, I lift her hair to the side and find the small knot of the ripped ends of the top of her romper. Regret and guilt nearly choke me as I remember my actions from last night.
I'm pretty sure neither one of us has a humiliation or degradation kink.
Smiling grimly at the thought, I push the top down, baring her silky skin and breasts. This isn't sexual experience; this is me taking care of her, trying to make amends for my monstrous behavior.
She might be pissed at me for taking these liberties to care for her, and if she is, I'll take her anger any fucking day of the week. I'll help her see that she can be the real Nova Mancini with me—no more hiding. That she doesn't have to be the Mancini Princess; onlymyprincess.
I bury my face in the crook of her neck, holding her tightly. "I'm so fucking sorry, princess."
I kiss the crown of her head and then take her romper off completely. Shifting her, I reach for her feet—everything about her is so tiny compared to me—to take off her sandals.
Standing with her, I step into the tub that's still filling with warm water and slowly lower us. I gently settle her between my legs and rest her back against my front, wishing I had done this in my ensuite's tub, as it would fit the two of us perfectly and she could be easily submerged.
As the water in the tub rises, I adjust her position and increase the temperature as her body adjusts. Her shivering has started to ease, and I turn off the water before the tub overflows. Closing my eyes, I hold her. She's completely lax against me, like she's in a deep sleep.
I lay there, holding her against me, letting her warm up and sleep. A knock on the door pulls me out my of half-asleep-mediative state.
"Mass, we have the supplies set up," Gabe says.
"Give us ten minutes."
Nova doesn't stir with my voice. Her tiny snore fills the bathroom, and I chuckle, kissing her head. "You sleep, princess."
I lather a cloth with body wash and gently clean her limbs and torso. I avoid her breasts and her sex, not wanting her to feel like I completely violated and overstepped with her. Again, this isn't sexual for me; this is about taking care of her.
I've never felt such a profound and urgent need to do so with anyone ever before.
When I shift her and support her upper body to float, a soft sigh escapes her. I smile as I wet her hair, then position her to rest against me again. I wash her hair and then rinse it the same way as I had wet it.