Page 166 of Salvatore

I bet Liv doesn’t know what to say because this situation is so far removed from how she sees me. And I don’t want to talk about it because this whole mess feels like a cruel inevitability—like no matter how hard I try, my past is always lurking, waiting for the right moment to pull me back in.

“I know you pride yourself on it,” she finally murmurs, “but I have to admit, I’m not a fan of your new fashion sense.”

I wish I could laugh at her attempted humor. The best I can muster is a breath of a chuckle as I clutch the lapels of Salvatore’s jacket tighter around my chest.

“It’s not often we’re lost for words, right?” She stares at the ceiling while I do the same. “What the hell has happened to our lives?”

“I don’t know.” A pained throb pulses beneath my sternum, the pace quickening.

She rolls toward me, her eyes sorrowful as she rests her cheek against her pillow. “I know your childhood was far moredifficult than most, and obviously you’ve got a lot of trauma that I’m still not aware of… but you know you’re stunning, right? You could literally getanyguy. Why slum it with Salvatore Costa?”

That throb increases. “It doesn’t feel like slumming.”

She cringes. “That’s the trauma talking. I bet I’d be in denial too. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has piranha sperm. Those little bastards are probably cannibalizing your brain cells.”

I roll my eyes. “Liv?—”

“I’m serious. Who knows what his swim squad are currently doing to your motherboard? Salvatore is reckless, vindictive, and downright savage. You realize condoms don’t protect against that, right?”

“Liv—”

“Could you imagine him fathering a child? Giving it semi-automatics as a Christening gift, or?—”

“Liv, I like him.”

Her eyes sadden. “Are you sure that’s not the pain meds talking?”

“I felt this way before I was stabbed.”

“Yeah, but even then you’d already been through a lot… It’s only natural your common sense would be messed up.”

I release the heavy air in my lungs and return my attention to the ceiling. “Is that the same reason you slept with his brother?”

She recoils a little. “What’s happening between me and Remy has been built over months. And he’s not like Salvatore, who’s?—”

“Before you continue, please understand I haven’t decided what my future holds, and although some things can be ignored they can never be unheard.”

She goes still, her scrutiny heating the side of my face. “You aren’t considering having the baby, are you?”

My vision unfocuses on the white paint, my imagination conjuring up images of a sweet, innocent child who healsmy broken heart and shatters it in equal measure. “It’s complicated.”

“Believe me, that’s one part of this situation you don’t need to point out.”

“Actually, it is. I’ve lived without a family for more than a decade. I had nobody and no one until I found you and your dad. I can’t have boyfriends because the last one disappeared, thanks to the cartel. I can’t even have pets because Gabriel tends to kill those, too.” I turn my watery eyes to hers. “Children have never been an option, Liv, despite how I’d giveanythingto have a family.”

“Oh, Ive, I’m sorry.” She nestles closer, sliding her body against mine and wrapping her arm around my ribs, offering physical comfort even though I know she hates it.

“He’s put his life on the line for me,” I whisper. “Hekilled his own mother.”

She forces an awkward smile. “And they say romance is dead.”

My chuckle is short-lived. Because, yeah, I suppose I did kinda paint his actions in a romantic hue.

It seems delulu is the new solulu.

“I guess you’ve got a lot to think about,” she whispers.

I sigh and blink through the heat seeping into my eyes. “And I’m already thinking this could be the only opportunity I get to have a baby… to become a mom… I’m meant to disappear, so why not keep it once I start over somewhere safe?”

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