Page 110 of Ruthless Redemption

“Wouldn’t you? I left my siblings to be extorted and abused. I walked out on them, and Remy was sexually fucking assaulted.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “You couldn’t have known what Emmanuel was going to do.”

I scoff. “But I knew what he did to Grace. I knew what he was capable of and left them anyway. If I’d stepped up and done the right thing when she was murdered, nobody would’ve suffered. My family would’ve been without a patriarch, but it would’ve been better for it. Stella wouldn’t have been abducted. Your husband would still be alive.”

“Matthew…” She beseeches me with pleading eyes.

“At the very least, I should’ve gone back for them.” I tug her onto my lap. “Once I had a stable life with Lorenzo, it was my duty to save them.”

“When did you ever have a stable life? When you were the Butcher? When your days were spent catering to Lorenzo’s demands?” She places her hands behind my neck, her mouth close, her breath teasing my lips. “You told me you wanted nothing more than to get out. So why are you blaming yourself for not dragging them into hell with you?”

“It wasn’t hell—”

“But it wasn’t a life you wanted either. You can’t take responsibility for this.” Her voice becomes a whisper. “This isn’t on you. It’s on him.Everythingis on Emmanuel. Both your hardships and mine.”

I cup her jaw. “You don’t believe that either. I know you still blame yourself, too.”

She lowers her arms to her sides, her attention falling to the bedcoverings.

“Mia dea, how can you lecture me on blame but not listen to your own advice?” I rub a thumb along her cheek. “You wanted your father to love you. There’s no shame in that.”

“There is if I wanted that love despite the cost.” She tilts her face away from my palm. “I hurt so many people.”

“We all do. It’s part of life.”

She turns her back to me, straddling my thigh to return her attention to the ocean. “Well, I don’t like it.”

“Me neither.” I press my face into her hair, breathing her in.

We stay like that while Bishop tinkers in the kitchen. After Remy and Salvatore return inside. For long minutes and quiet moments of nothing but contemplation.

She nestles into my chest, returning to the woman who was comfortable in my presence, not protesting when I wrap a slow, possessive arm around her waist.

I try to forget the guilt. To ignore it and focus on gratitude.

I’ve reclaimed my woman.

She’s all I need in this world.

“Once the dust settles…” I graze my lips down the side of her neck, “How do I make you happy?”

She doesn’t respond, not in words. There’s only a weary inhale.

“La mia stella polare?” I nuzzle her ear. “Tell me what your perfect future looks like for us.”

“I’m not sure I understand what happiness is anymore, let alone being able to imagine it.”

Her sadness stabs through me. She wasn’t like this before I betrayed her. She still had hope.

“What if I tell you mine?”

She sighs and sinks farther into me. “I’m listening.”

I circle her waist, my hands resting on her stomach. “We live together in D.C. Just you, me, and Stella when she’s home from school.”

“What about Bishop?” she murmurs. “Your boy will be devastated.”

“He can visit on weekends.” I snicker against her hair. “We’ll holiday in Italy. I’ll take you to fashion shows in Milan and spoil you in Florence.”

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