Page 86 of Ruthless Redemption

I would never do that to her.

I would never place my feelings for her in the same category as the affections those men inflicted upon me.

I open my mouth to tell her why I can’t say what she needs to hear, but she raises a hand in warning.

“Don’t play pretend. I can see it in your eyes.” She pastes on a smile so fake, it’s painful to watch. “I hate those words anyway. I despise what they’ve made me into. The weakness they induce. I never want to hear them again.”

“Good.” I tighten my grip. “Because I’ll never fucking say them.”

She sucks in a breath, heartbreakingly fragile despite the show of strength.

“I don’t love you, Layla. I never will.”

She attempts to yank free from my hold. Once. Twice. Each tug is more vicious than the last. “Let me go.”

“I’m not finished.” I drag her closer so we’re foot to foot. “I need you to hear me out.”

“I don’t want to.” She twists her arm from my grip, then runs.

I chase, catching her in two steps to haul her off the ground. “You’re going to fucking listen.”

“Let me go.” She wiggles in my hold. Thrashes. “Stop.” She screams as I carry her back to the car, fighting me, pummeling my chest.

I dump her on her feet beside the Lincoln, caging her against the metal with my body. “You’re going to hear me out, because we both know this moment is either sink or swim for us.” I grab her chin, forcing her face to mine. “And I’m going to need you to look me in the fucking eye while I talk to you, because if I mess up my words, at least you’ll be able to see my goddamn sincerity.”

She refuses.

I tilt my head into her line of sight, smothering her harder against the car’s exterior. “I don’t love you, Layla. What I feel for you isn’t close to what other people describe. I say I’m obsessed because I am. I’m consumed by you. I’m infatuated and intrigued. I’m fucking captivated and enslaved. I can’t think past you. You’re all there is. All I have. And that’s not love. There’s no way it could be, because the fucking world couldn’t function if everyone felt the way I do.” I pause, catching my fucking breath, imploring her with my goddamn eyes. “Do you understand me?”

She doesn’t respond. All I get are more tears and a deeper tremble to her lips.

“I’ll never tell you I love you, Layla. That’s a vow. From now on, I won’t even call youamore mio.Because you’rela mia ossessione.La mia vita. La mia anima. Il mio santuario.” I cup her cheeks, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. “My obsession. My life. My soul. My sanctuary. I’ll spend every day making sure you know your value is worth so much more than three fucking words.”

I lean close, my mouth a breath from hers. “Every time I look at you, you’ll know you’re valued above any other. That you’re cherished and adored. If you fall asleep at night thinking you’re anything less than perfect, then I’ve failed you, and I expect you to hold me accountable. Because that’s what you are to me. It’s all you’ve ever been.”

She swallows, her eyes remaining pooled in moisture as she licks her lips.

“Talk to me,” I beg. “Tell me you understand.”

Her nose scrunches, bringing a new trail of tears down her cheeks.

“Tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking.”

She drags in a shuddering breath. “I’m thinking that I want to hate you.”

I wince, taking the hit to the chest. “I know. I want to hate me, too.”

“So why don’t I?” she whimpers. “Why am I so weak?”

“Weak?” I swipe those fucking tears away. “How can you be weak when you’re the only one capable of bringing the Butcher to his knees?”

She shakes her head.

“It’s true. You destroy me,la mia stella polare. You tear me apart. Don’t you understand how powerful that makes you?”

“You have all the power. You always have.”

“That’s not true.” I brush my nose over hers, my chest heating with the contact, my dick hardening. I can already taste her, her heated breath filling my lungs. “You rule over me. You always will.”

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