Page 29 of Rush of Insanity

“I didn’t like the way we left things,” she lied.

He huffed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “And?”

She loathed the disappointment in his eyes and hated herself for putting it there. “I want to feel comfortable in your world, Judd.” That was the crux of it. She wanted to be everything. Not only his girlfriend. She wanted to be a puzzle piece that adjusted to every part of his life.

“I wish I could help you with that, but I’m not comfortable myself.”

She understood that now. He had a persona around outsiders. She was one of the lucky ones who had never been placated. “Your love of music outweighs the discomfort.”

He inclined his head. “I realize you don’t have the same incentive.”

“You’re my incentive.”

“Well, that’s what I’d hoped, but obviously I wasn’t enough.”

“Youdon’t think you’re enough?” She balked. “How couldyounot think you’re enough? You bring a feast to the table, and I only bring myself.”

“I don’t understand how people think a music contract can change someone overnight. Years later, I still don’t have the confidence or charisma that’s mysteriously supposed to overcome me. I’m the music geek I’ve always been. I’m constantly questioning if I’m good enough—for my fans, for my label. For you. I’m the guy who’s nervous as hell that I can’t keep the woman I love happy. I tried everything I could to stop you from making those threats to leave me. And still I wasn’t good enough.”

“You were good enough.” She stared at him, seeing a kaleidoscope of facets when before he’d only been in 3D.

“Yeah? Well, I still feel like you’re out of my league.”

Her lips parted.How?How could he think that? “But you’re—”

“I’m petrified.” His arms fell at his sides. “I can’t see myself with anyone else. I can’t imagine another woman ever allowing me to feel this real. If you leave, I’m scared of settling with someone in the industry and becoming the persona I loathe. And I’m fearful that if you stay my pride will get in the way of keeping us together.”

“Your pride and my fear of rejection.”

“I’ll never reject you.”

She believed him. Believed that he was adamant. Honest. At least for now. They had so much to learn about one another and there was always the possibility he may hate the new parts he was exposed to.Damn it. There were too many opportunities for heartache.

“I have a thousand reasons to walk away.” The list was too long to skim over. “There’s only one pulling me to stay.”

“What’s the reason?” he murmured.

A burning path trailed down her cheeks. More weakness and vulnerability there for the world to see. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m just worried that this thing between us doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t have to. As long as we’re happy together.” His throat convulsed with a heavy swallow. “Do I make you happy?”

“Of course you do.”

He nodded and the movement lacked confidence.

“You do, Judd. But maybe this is all too hard. Maybe I should go.” She frowned at herself. “For real this time.”

“No.” Judd chuckled and shook his head. “You shouldn’t.”

He didn’t move, didn’t approach as she took a step back.

“I attempted to stop a bus with my body. I think I’ve reached a level of crazy that shouldn’t be encouraged.”

His lips quirked in the devilish way she loved. “I threw half a million dollars across a stadium. I think we’re matched perfectly.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile. “What if you don’t like the parts of me that you haven’t seen yet?”

Finally, he stepped forward, closing in on her, bringing them thigh to thigh. “I know you, Harper. I know everything about you.” He placed a hand on her hip. “I see your defenses fall away after we sleep together. I see the love in your eyes when you watch me on stage. I hear the way you talk about me to Tank, and he also tells me how you feel just so I’m not kept in the dark.”

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