Page 21 of Rush of Insanity

Chapter Six

Judd woke to a faint tap, tap, tap coming from the front of the bus. He sat up and stared down the aisle, seeing Harper’s head pop up from the booth seat. He blinked then blinked again.

What the fuck?

She hadn’t slept beside him? He ran a hand along the sheet at his side and clenched his teeth at the lack of lingering body heat. Damn her.

He swung his legs to the side of the bed and snatched his jeans off the floor. Her lack of interest in getting back together scared him. She’d always warned him she wasn’t going to stick around. She wasn’t going to be a permanent part of his life. He hadn’t wanted to believe it. He’d actually hoped the threats were another way of keeping him on his toes.

There was too much lust keeping her at his side and too much love pulling him toward her to ever imagine a life without her.

But she did leave, and he needed to know why to ensure he did everything to stop it happening again.

The bus door opened and Tank filled the front of the aisle to greet Kyle at the top of the staircase.

“Morning,” Judd grated as he strode toward them. He kept his focus trained on his employees, unable to look at her. Not yet. Not when he was still drugged from sleep and deprived of waking up beside her.

Tank hit him with a stare filled with pity, giving him a world of information with his tight lips and concerned eyes before he even opened his mouth. “Kyle and I are going to have a chat outside.”

“We are?” His assistant looked between them with a frown. “What about?”

Tank continued to hold Judd’s attention, letting him know he hadn’t won Harper over like he’d thought.

“About tonight’s show.” Tank turned to Kyle and grabbed the boxes from his hands to place them on the small dining table. “We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“But I brought breakfast.” Kyle balked. “The croissants are still warm.”

“Move.” Tank descended the stairs, forcing Kyle backward.

“I’m going. I’m going.”

The crunch of gravel entered the silence of the bus, the heavy footsteps disappearing down the desolate road.

“What was that about?” Harper stretched her arms above her head, the picture of lazy perfection.

He still couldn’t look at her. He didn’t want to see her lack of emotion when he was so overcome with it that bile rose in his throat. She had no clue he was devastated to wake up alone. No clue that, yet again, he was already mourning the inevitable loss of her.

“You couldn’t even sleep beside me?” Finally, he lowered his focus, taking in her wide eyes and sleep tousled hair. She was beautiful, even with the darkened stain of mascara marking the top of her cheeks.

“I was restless. I didn’t want to keep you awake.”

A derisive laugh vibrated from his throat. “Sure…” She was ready to leave. He could see it in the defiant lift of her chin. “You promised me answers, Harper.” His tone wavered, and he didn’t care at how weak it made him. His pride was dying under the fear of loss. He just needed to know why. Why did she leave? Why did she quit loving him? Why couldn’t they make this work? “What happened between us that made you walk out on me?”

She huffed out a breath and turned her focus to the road outside the front windscreen. “How much time do we have for this conversation?”

“Fucking hell,” he muttered. The bile crept higher, threatening to bring him to his knees. He’d been reckless with his feelings before. He’d sprouted his affection to past lovers in songs. He’d written love letters. He’d inundated florists with bouquet orders.

Harper was different. She rejected any display of affection—public, private or otherwise—and her constant reminders that she was going to leave made him cautious enough not to push the boundaries. He’d been wary with her, never knowing if his next step would be the last.

“Here I was thinking you were having as much fun as I was. How fucking clueless am I?” He grated his knuckles over his sternum, trying to kill the ache there.

She kept her focus straight ahead, staring into space, ignoring him.

“Talk to me.” He couldn’t move. Couldn’t get closer. She’d scorch him if he did. “Explain.”

“Whatever we shared wasn’t working for me anymore.” She released a heavy breath and turned to face him. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever we shared?Jesus Christ.” He stepped back and bumped into the bar fridge. “Whatever we shared was a big fucking deal to me. How could it mean nothing to you?”

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