Page 26 of Steamy Dreamy Hearts

There was a pause. I swallowed in the face of Caleb’s raw beauty. The bold swipes of scars along his cheek and jaw. The messy hair that skimmed his earlobes, still wet from his shower. I imagined running my fingers through the thick strands, smelling the shampoo?—

“I’m going to make tea.” Caleb brushed past me and began to fuss with a mug and tea bag. “It’s supposed to be good for sleeping. I forgot we had it. Thought I’d give it a try. Want some?”

“Please.”

He nodded, his eyes finally on mine, wide and vulnerable.

Did he see right through me? Know what I was thinking about doing? His eyes were always so warm and bright. He had this way about him, and it made me hopeful.

He was the change my heart yearned for, the thing missing in my life that would make me happiest. This wasn’t only about the frightening close call. I stared into his eyes, and that brightness propelled me across the trailer. I stood in front of him, set my bag on the floor, and took a breath, ready to lay it out there.

“I’m attracted to you.” My tone was blunt. “I think—are you attracted to me?”

Caleb choked.

“Fuck, are you okay?” I rushed to him, putting his mug of hot tea on the counter.

“Yeah,” he croaked. “I’m—fine.” He took a tight, wheezy breath. This time, his wheezing wasn’t due to the flashback PTSD.

“What did you just say?” His face was almost comical. “I think I misheard you.”

“I said that I’m attracted to you.” My voice dipped low. “And I am. And if you’ll consider me, I’d really like to have a chance.”

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, raising his eyebrows.

“So, is that a no?” I asked dryly.

Caleb was frozen, like a deer caught in the headlights.

My heart dropped. “Forget it. Okay?”

The moment held between us, a long, long, long pause, while I waited, losing confidence with each passing second, and he gaped at me.

Finally, he swallowed, shook himself, and buried his face in his hands. “I’m—um…”

Not interested. Or not interested enough to want to do anything about it. Or being clearheaded enough to realize that going any further could be a mistake.

Maybe that was smart. We worked together, after all. I was his superior.

“Okay,” I replied gruffly. “I’m sorry. I’m your captain. In all seriousness, I wouldn’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable.” I swallowed a giant lump in my throat. “It’s been a weird day, an emotional one. If I was out of line or in any way offended you, I apologize. It won’t ever happen again.”

Caleb didn’t reply. I gave a curt nod. Embarrassment coated me like a fresh layer of sweat. I didn’t want him to feel bad or awkward. Maybe we could pretend this conversation never happened. That was probably for the best.

I picked up my bag and motioned toward the bed. “I’m gonna turn in. Night, Caleb.”

“But…your tea.” He looked distressed.

“It’s fine. You can drink my cup or save it for tomorrow. Truth is, I’m more of a coffee drinker.”

“I can make some coffee. We have decaf somewhere.” Caleb glanced at the mug, unsure.

“Good night.”

Retreating into a darkened room, I quickly got ready, then climbed under the covers. I could feign sleep or scroll on my phone, facing away from him, giving him space. And maybe I’d stop feeling awkward by the morning. Or by the time we returned to Phoenix. Oh damn, I hoped he wouldn’t want to leave my station. I couldn’t imagine life there without Caleb to brighten it. Letting out a quiet sigh, I propped my arm under my head and closed my eyes. Maybe sleep would be kind and come early.

Sounds of Caleb’s footsteps pacing around the trailer, back and forth, up and down, filled the quiet. The door opened, then closed, and I worried for a moment that he’d decided to find somewhere else to sleep. Just as I sat up to go after him, the door opened again.

Relieved, I lay down, closed my eyes, and waited. I hoped I hadn’t made things too awkward for him.

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