Page 14 of Steamy Dreamy Hearts

It was too big of a slippery slope.

SMACK

This was torture.

As we drove down the winding road, Caleb’s presence beside me continually pulled my focus. He wasn’t wrong to say the firehouse was a second family. I thought of all my employees as my family and always had. The problem was the looks Caleb gave me didn’t feel familial. And worse, I always noticed him…noticing me. I had a pang deep in my chest, thinking about being the focus of his chatter, flushed face, sweet warmth. I hoped to have more moments where we were just talking. Which was ridiculous because I shouldn’t be hoping for anything. But Caleb? He was like nobody else I’d ever met. So much to give, so naturally kind and friendly, yet so deeply hurt… I wanted to kiss him, hold him. Take that hurt away.

The direction of my thoughts rattled me. At the station, I avoided being alone with him. Or I could convince myself he wasn’t looking at me inthat way.Or that I didn’t want to eye-fuck him back.

We were no longer making conversation, and I avoided looking his way. Still, I could feel his gaze on me. We were going to be trapped together for days. I was afraid he might start to flirt with me for real…and then what? Caleb was all sloppy emotions. If he was happy, he laughed. Sad, he might sigh dramatically. He was all enthusiasm most days, all sparkling, brilliant energy. No burn scars had stopped Caleb’s shine. Only Tanner—the asshole—had. I was glad he finally seemed rid of the guy.

“Have you traveled much?” Caleb asked. “Even for work, I do love a road trip. I loved this one trip to Utah with my family, even though my sisters fought with each other half the ride. If you could go anywhere in the world—money and time not a problem—where would you pick? I’d go to Asia. It must be so different there. Oh, or Africa and do a safari.” He leaned closer. “There’s no place that calls to you?”

“Any place with silence.” I said it as a joke, but I saw immediately he took it wrong. One minute, he’d been laughing, and the next, I’d hurt his feelings. Caleb withdrew, scrunching his body against the window.

Okay, it was official. I was a jerk.

“I mean, as a dad, I crave some silence. That’s all.” I attempted a brief smile, my tone softer. “All I need is some silence and a really good bed to be on vacation.”

“Yeah, makes sense.” Caleb brightened, his eyes dancing. “But one day, when you’ve had enough silence, I’m playing Chris Stapleton for you. His voice will make you melt.”

“Um…” I was already melting.

“So, music or no music?”

I gripped the wheel. “No music.”

“Okay.” Caleb held up his hand. “Your loss.”

I winced. It was my loss in more ways than he knew. But I had a job to focus on, a kid. I didn’t need some heart-melting country song playing with Caleb right next to me.

“No surprise, really, you’re not…”

“What?”

“Forget it.” Caleb shrugged.

“No, what were you going to say?”

Caleb groaned. “Sorry, Captain, you’re just not a music type. That’s all I meant.”

My mouth fell open. Closed.

“Fine,” I mumbled. “I’m a silent type.”

I looked over at him, and we locked eyes.

Caleb offered a weak smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

I winced. “Like you said, I’m just not a music type.”

But the lie came out in a rough voice. I liked music as much as the next guy. But I didn’t want to listen to Caleb’s favorite songs and have me thinking of him whenever they played. It was because of how desperately I wanted to get close to Caleb. I imagined pressing my lips to his. My body went warm at the thought, and my breath tightened. Add a fucking love song to this equation?

No, thanks. I couldn’t do this. It was wrong to be thinking of Caleb this way or how cute he was. If I kissed him, I would not be gentle. It would consume me. Us. I didn’t do anything in half measures. Our mouths would crash together. And then—it would be complicated. Too real, too fast, too everything.

I had Erin to think about above all else. I scrubbed a hand over my face. I looked away from him, trying to stop my racing thoughts. I tried like hell to summon memories of Dan. Or think about Erin’s messy room, waiting for me to clean. Anything other than desiring a person I shouldn’t want. Couldn’t have…

The silence was so loud it was punishing. I should have agreed to Caleb’s music after all.

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