“Your guidance as my captain, your trust. I need you to know that every day working under you, it’s been a gift.”

“Caleb…I don’t know what to say to that.”

Caleb strangled a laugh. “Don’t say anything. It’s enough to finally be able to thank you for being such an awesome captain.”

“No, I should thank you, for being on the team…” I blew out a hard breath.

“I guess we just thanked each other?” Caleb offered a grin, his eyes sparkling.

Damn, I liked to see the sadness gone from his eyes. I got that his depression had flare-ups, and he might always have good or bad moments, but I suddenly wished I could make every second of his day a good moment. I wished I could show him he could trust himself. Like he so easily gave his trust to me.

Honestly, I was protective of all the firefighters under me, but I didn’t ever want to press myself closer to them, wrap my arm around them. Not like I did with Caleb.

Doesn’t matter.

I’d loved Dan, and he was gone. I had Erin to raise, my mother to look after. I didn’t have time for more.

CHAPTER

SIX

CALEB

Smack didn’t return my smile when I suggested thanking each other, and he hadn’t liked my attempt at self-deprecation, either. Too bad. That had been one of my tricks that I depended on. But Smack didn’t let me get away with my usual bullshit. It was like he had X-ray vision into me.

I’d found myself confessing my depression, something I had always hidden, even from Phin or my family. He had seen me, as sure as if my scarred body were standing naked in front of him. His penetrating gaze, those sharp, electric-blue eyes, made me feel vulnerable in comparison. Captain Smack was all hardness and masculine power. It was what attracted me—the idea of being safe in his arms, trusting his experience. But now…I was afraid of it. He was too close, too aware of me in ways others never were.

I willed myself to sleep. When I woke, it must have been over an hour later, and I peered out the window at the desert landscape, brown and still. No sight of smoke in the air yet. But soon, we would see it forming, smell it in the air. It would sting our eyes and lungs, even with protective gear.

“Got some rest?” Smack asked, his powerful hands on the steering wheel as his gaze flickered to mine. I could see concern there. Kindness. He was a tough boss, a rough sort of man outwardly, but I knew him well enough now to see how much gentleness lurked right underneath the surface.

“Want me to drive for a while? You should rest, too, while we can.”

“That’d be great.” He pulled off to the side of the road. “Thanks,” he said as we parked.

“No big deal.”

“It is to me.”

I squirmed. “Okay, then, you’re welcome.”

Smack touched my arm. “That’s better.”

Something in me softened. I was used to doing for others without comment. It was my nature to try and help whenever possible, to take care. Being appreciated and thanked for it was weirdly new. A warm, fuzzy feeling went through me.

“I’m rested, but I’m worried about how bad the wildfire will be,” I confessed as we switched seats.

“Me, too. It’s a bad one for sure. Containment might take weeks, and there will be multiple areas to cover.”

My stomach knotted at the thought. All those poor people fighting the heat and flames.

“I’ll give it everything I got. I realize Kamira was your first choice to go, and you might not have wanted me?—”

“What are you talking about? I do want you,” Smack said bluntly, making my heart jump.

“I don’t want to let you down, Captain. It’s been a while since I was at such a big job.” I cleared my throat. “Guess it makes me a little worried.”

I was grateful to be driving. It gave me an excuse not to look at Captain Smack. I could feel his intense gaze, felt him sweep over me from head to toe. I clutched the wheel. Why had I toldhim how I was feeling? Captain Smack made me keep confessing things I normally didn’t reveal.