Page 24 of Almost You

I’d never seen this expression on his face. Like he was guarded all of a sudden.

“What’s wrong?”

Oh, God. Had I failed yetanotherlover?

I blinked away the threat of tears. Braced for his answer. I thought he’d loved being with me. That my touch made him happy. His touch had made me want to shout with joy. I dreamed only of making him mine. I was already his.

Had I gotten things wrong?

“Wasn’t it…any good?” I whispered.

“Jesus, yes! That’s not—” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m worried about taking advantage of you. I’ve been pushing you this entire time, haven’t I? Begging you to help me. Showing up at your place. I must have been a pushy bastard in the human world.”

“You can’t push me if I don’t want to be pushed. Believe me. Others have tried.”

He snorted. “Physically pushing is not what I meant. I’m…scared.”

“Of what, me?” I asked, shocked.

“No! I’m afraid…of how good it felt. Of losing something so good.” He bit his lip. “Most of all, I’m scared about not being fair to you. Why give up a chance at a human relationship to be with me? I can be many things for you, except alive. Ican’tgive that to you.” He swiped at his eyes. “And you deserve more. You shouldn’t settle.”

Settle? That was insane. He believed he was pushy? That I felt trapped or some shit? He didn’t get it. I wanted his attention. I wanted him to think about me, see me, love me.

I was in love with him.

A moment went by. I was never good at talking about feelings. Most of my life…it had been a lonely experience. I had few friends—none at all since Abby and I split.

Ghost was so wrong about this. I wanted him to push me. I needed somebody like him in my life, or I’d settle. Without him, I’d live a life of meager crumbs. With him, it was a whole damn meal. A feast.

He gave a long sigh. “How can I ask you to give up on real love? I’m being selfish as hell. And I don’t want to be. As much as I want us together, I shouldn’t keep you from more.”

He began to turn away. That woke me up and fast. If I didn’t say how I felt—really tell him—this might end. I grabbed his arm. “Listen to me! There’s nothing to give up. Before you, I might have been alive, but I wasn’t living. I was going through the motions. Unable to connect with anyone in any realm.”

“That’s so sweet, it makes me want to say okay to everything. But how can I? I care so much about you. But it isn’t fair to ask you to accept being with a ghost.”

“Nothing is fair. So stop worrying about it. Was it fair that youdied? I’m guessing no fucking way. Was it fair we didn’t meet years ago? No. So, you’re a ghost and part of that sucks. I can deal with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Jesus. Name one relationship that doesn’t come with highs and lows, good and bad. Don’t you get it?” I bit back an urge to shake him or cry. “You’re not the one who’s been dead, I am,” I said softly. “Being with you, falling for you? It’s everything.”

“Don’t you want a normal relationship?”

“I’ve never been normal. Whatever the hell normal means.”

“As if I’m normal.” He laughed, shimmering in the air. “I’m a ghost, and I want you to fucking possess me. Like I want to be yours, in all the ways one person dating another can. I want youto claim me, mark me, commit to me. Is that normal as a ghost? I’m not even sure how that would work. But it’s what I want.”

“Possess you?” I repeated, my heart thrumming.

He bit his lower lip. “Yeah. But only if you feel the same.”

I swallowed hard. “Some people are lucky. The family they got at birth is great. Others are lucky to find family along the way. But I’ve never fit. The closest I came was with Abby, but that ended. I spend my time with spirits; not many humans get that. As a foster kid, I was too weird or grouchy. As an adult, I found it hard to let people in. I don’t have a family. I convinced myself I didn’t need friends or family or any of that. But the truth is, I have struggled to find it. Then you arrived.” I held my hand out to him. “And I want you to stay with me. That possessive-as-fuck feeling? It’s mutual.”

“Thank God. I worried that you wouldn’t get what you need from this.”

“Stop worrying. I’m a man, not a boy, and I know what I want.” I drew him into my arms.

He cupped the sides of my face. “How about you?” Ghost searched my eyes. “What’s your fear about us?”

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