Page 18 of Almost You

“Oh, for God’s sake. You’re being a downer. Now I really need to eat chocolate.” He gave a dramatic sigh.

My lips twitched. “Sorry, I don’t plan to stop your fun. But we’re both inside my body, just wanted you to get that part. I don’t disappear or anything.”

“That must be difficult for you. There, but having others with you. It sounds…invasive.” He frowned, a little furrow between his brows. “Are you okay to do this?”

“I’m good. I can handle it.”

Truthfully, I’d never channeled a ghost that I was attracted to. He wasn’t going to taste a candy bar and go.

“So, I can suggest things, like opening your mouth, but you have to consent.”

“Right.”

“And I can use your body.” He cocked his head, smiling. “And we both feel it?”

“You got it.”

Our gazes clashed and held.

“Let’s do it.”

The next day, I set the table with chopped berries and pineapple. I heated a chocolate fondue, and put out an assortment of cookies and bread. I had a good dessert wine that I liked and, since we’d not discussed alcohol, some juices. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, trying to slow my nerves. I needed to meditate to bring him to my realm. Being anxious that he liked my food, wine…me—none of that helped.

So, I played soft music that I favored, a little Taylor Swift, and I began deep breathing. Like an athlete who trained, my body was conditioned for this, and it didn’t take long for me to reach a plane of transformation. I focused on Ghost, his energy, until it was here, zinging through me.

A jolt, stronger than I’d felt with others, zipped through my insides, crackling through my skin. He pulsed through me, and made my hand give a wave hello.

It was invasive; Ghost was right about that. I usually channeled, let the spirit talk through me to a loved one, and pushed them away.

But his energy was different. It melted into mine. My senses were alive, ready. No more loneliness. That was how it felt, like this was meant to be, like this mattered.

I could entrust my body to him.

I pulled the fruit basket and fondue closer. He licked my lower lip, running my tongue over it. I dipped a strawberry into the gooey chocolate and brought it to my mouth.

“Oh!” We groaned—my voice—his pleasure.

The berry was juicy, the chocolate still warm.

“More,” my voice pleaded—his words begged.

I sipped some wine, ate chunks of French bread with butter.

He rested a hand on my belly. I knew he was feeling full for the first time since his death.

We took them for granted, those basic needs. What was better than a full belly or a well-rested body?

Well, I could think of one thing. Sexual satisfaction had always eluded me before, and Ghost brought new and exciting feelings for me. Not an hour went by that he wasn’t on my mind. And now he was inside of me, nurtured by my body. It was a fucking thrill to give him what he needed. But could he give it to me in return? I’d tried with my wife, and I’d liked seeing herpleasure, but most times the tiny rush of release left me empty, lonely.

Disconnected.

I pushed my chair out. He grabbed a Dove chocolate.

As I headed to the bedroom, I ate the candy. Or rather, Ghost ate it through me. My tongue coated with it. Ghost swirled the candy around, pressing it to the roof of my mouth by commanding my tongue. He smacked my lips a few times as the chocolate dissolved.

I paused before flicking on my bedroom light.

Thank God for Amazon. Sex toys I’d been too embarrassed to buy in person were neatly lined up on my nightstand. I’d never tried them, not with Abby or even alone. I’d wondered if they’d help me, but I’d always stopped short of experimenting.

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