Page 41 of Nerdy Dirty Valentine

Rico and I sat on the red plastic chairs.

“Thanks for agreeing at the last second to attend this with me.”

“Sure, no problem, man.” He talked with his mouth full, finishing a doughnut, and fresh crumbs littered his shirt.

I could kiss him. For the support, even when I was a total dick to him. But Rico was also a burly, alpha type of guy who talked mostly about hockey and fishing when he wasn’t reminding me of the program steps, so I refrained. But then again, I was a big burly guy, too, so who knew what turned his crank.

The meeting was only half-full since it wasn’t a popular time. A young woman, maybe a newcomer, looked scared and shrunken to my right. An older guy, looking bored as he sipped the burnt coffee, was on my left.

Despite everything, my instinct had always been to protect my mother. Not telling anybody how it felt to live with her after my father’s death. As if I owed her that much as fellow survivors. But here, in this shabby little basement, I was about to talk.

“Let’s get the meeting going,” said the leader. “I’m Don, and I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi, Don,” we all chorused.

“Anybody want to start today?”

The old man scratched at his ear. The young girl lowered down in her chair. A few others shook their heads.

Rico wiped his hands on his pants and flashed me the thumbs-up.

“Hey, I’m Phin. I’m an alcoholic…” I began.

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

James had some meeting at work today, so I met him at the park. After my week, a walk with him and Ginsberg was just what I needed. Sitting on the bench facing a ballfield, I smiled at the sight of kids in their uniforms taking the bases. The sun was warm on my skin, and it felt good to breathe in some fresh air after so often battling smoke and ash.

We were only a few days from Valentine’s, and a plan was beginning to take shape in my mind for our date.

But when James arrived, something was wrong. He looked wrecked, his hair sticking up in several directions. His glasses were fogged and his eyes behind them anxious.

Ginsberg trotted along beside him but had no bow tie or cute vest on.

I rose to my feet as he reached my bench. “What happened?”

James clamped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

Tension tightened my shoulders. If anybody hurt James…

“I did a dumb thing. And it might cost my job.”

I took a moment to thank God it wasn’t all the horrible images that had been jolting through my brain, and air whooshed to my lungs, but James was pale and shaking. He needed me.

I circled my arms around him.

His eyes were fixed on me as I hugged him, but James wasn’t focusing. His gaze seemed dazed. “I met with the dean and expressed my concerns over the curriculum policies, and she made it clear my opinions weren’t welcome, but I still challenged her. What possessed me, I don’t know.”

“Because you want to fight for academic freedom.” I cradled the back of his head with my hand.

James made a noise in his throat. “Jesus, Phin, that’s true, but the dean can dismiss my contract, and then what happens? I’m jobless, and other colleges will see me as a troublemaker. Me. I’ve never broken the rules in my life.”

“That’s why I’m so fucking proud of you,” I said gruffly.

“For what? Risking my job? Over a decision that will go ahead, anyhow?”

“Yeah, for that. You care, James. So much. You care about your students, since you could just read these books outside of school. You care about the books.”

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