Page 16 of Nerdy Dirty Valentine

The next day, James wanted to pick the song.

“I’m sticking with the Spanish theme but slower.”

“Where’s Ginsberg today?” I wanted the doggie buffer.

My grip on the “friendship” was slipping. Each time I saw James, my heart did little flip-flops.

“Home. I’d like to try something new. I was thinking… If I do go to the clubs, I need to dance with somebody, and we haven’t been doing that. So how about we dance to this together?”

My gaze skittered to his in surprise. The image of holding James close raced through my mind. I avoided looking at his arms, chest, thighs, which would all be pressed against minesoon. I’d barely survived yesterday. How many water breaks could I take?

But James needed me to do this, so I pushed my troubled thoughts aside.

“Okay…” My voice was a rasp.

“Don’t worry. It won’t be a scene fromDirty Dancing. I don’t want you to tickle my arm or anything.”

“Dirty Dancing?” I echoed.

“The movie?”

I shrugged.

“Oh, my God, Phin! How little movie experience you have. We’ll have to watch it. It’s about this awkward, inexperienced girl, Baby, who has to get dance lessons from this sexy guy she likes.”

“So… you think I’m sexy?”

“That’s your takeaway?” James rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t being that literal.”

I walked closer to him. “And that makes you the awkward baby? What if I told you that you’re the sexy one? You’re not as awkward as you keep insisting.”

James hesitated. “But in my mind, I am.”

There was a hint of hope in his eyes as if he wished me to change it, and I felt all the weight of that gaze. For a split second, I wanted to duck the responsibility. It might be too much for me to deliver. But that would leave James alone and feeling more awkward than ever. Nobody should be alone with their loneliness.

Compassion swept through me. “Then let’s work on changing your mind.”

James blinked rapidly. “It might take some time.”

“We’ll keep practicing,” I said firmly, wanting only to lend James my belief in him, my certainty.

“I’m willing.” His voice was shaky, face pinched, but he didn’t back away.

All I knew was I couldn’t keep running for water. I had to control myself, and I would, for James. I would keep his trust, no matter the cost. I wouldn’t be dumb and impulsive and lose that.

The song started, a slow one in Spanish that I didn’t know.

“C’mere.” I gestured.

My approach was gentle after he nodded, not wanting to scare him, but when we started dancing, James was the one whose arms tightened around me.

I slid my hands down his back and moved us into a matching step. James’ face was near the crook of my neck. He was close enough that I could smell his shampoo.

We didn’t do anything fancy. I just spun him, once, and pulled him back against me. He fit snugly against my chest. I’d danced with other guys, of course. But they were usually already propositioning me, the dance a means to an end. A slap of an ass. A flirty look, then some quickie somewhere. Usually in a back room or fumbling in a convenient car, never at home.

This was all about the dance, just us, in the moment. There was no expectation, no wondering if we each would like what was to come or find each other lacking. As James clutched onto me to steady himself, I already liked him and the way we danced together. Maybe his steps weren’t always in perfect synch, but moving with James made me feel joyful. Holding him felt natural.

When the song finished, we didn’t separate right away. James lifted his face to mine.

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