Page 53 of Nerdy Dirty Valentine

I spit into my sink, a terrible taste in my mouth. I took out my toothbrush. “It’s passing. I’m not giving up on this Valentine’s. It’s already easing and—” My stomach began to spasm. With a curse, I raced back to the toilet.

Defeated.

“I’m so fucking sorry.” James helped me up, and I moved to brush my teeth again. “This is awful and might not pass in time for our reservation. You can go, maybe? Eat a little, bring me back some food.”

He poked my shoulder. “You know that’s ridiculous. I’m not going anywhere.”

My shoulders sagged. “I know. But I wanted this night so badly for us. You deserve a special Valentine’s Day.”

James smiled, his eyes warm. “All I need is you.” He leaned in and kissed the side of my cheek. “And it’s been Valentine’s Day since the moment we met.”

I swallowed the large lump in my throat.

“Met again,” I whispered softly when I finally found my voice and I could tease him a little. I skated my fingers over his lower lip. “But I always crushed on you,” I admitted.

“I crushed onyou.So badly.”

“Of course you did.” I smirked. “How badly?”

“It was torture. I was so gone for you from the moment I laid eyes on you in school. I longed to know you and be your friend. And more. It was the first time I’d ever felt that way.” James peered into my eyes. “That’s why I couldn’t let it go. I didn’t think I had a chance with you when we met again, but I wanted to see what might happen. Being your friend and lover was a dream come true. The reality of being together, though? That was beyond my fantasies.” He sniffed. “That’s why we don’t need to go out. Why I don’t need fancy meals or presents. I don’t need it to be a holiday. Just want to be together.”

“Fuck, James, that’s…” I stared into his eyes, my heart pounding. “I wanted to say this at a romantic setting and have it all perfect at a candlelit dinner where I look awesome and you can’t resist me… not standing in the middle of my bathroom, looking green in the face, but I can’t hold back and not tell you already…” I gulped. I was sweating, my whole body clammy. And it wasn’t the food poisoning. It was my heart, burning brightly inside of me, refusing to be silenced or contained.

“Tell me what?” James asked in a high-pitched voice.

“That I’m in love with you.”

“Phin!” James cried out. “I love you, too. Madly, deeply. It consumes my every thought and feeling. I wake thinking of your smile. I rush to spend time with you. When we see each other, my heart sings.”

“Like a poem?” I grinned. “I’m a fucking poem.”

James launched himself into my arms. I caught him and lifted him off his feet. He nearly banged into my sink, but Jameswas laughing. When I put him down, he peppered small kisses all over my lips, cheeks, and jaw.

We held each other, for how long, I didn’t know, just rocking our bodies together, our hands laced.

When we separated, I caught my expression in the mirror. Were those really my eyes shining so brightly? Had my face ever looked so open before? I loved somebody. I was loved. And together, the world was ours.

We ended up cuddling on the bed, James fussing over me, insisting I get into my softest pajamas. He made me tea and crackers, refusing to leave my side. My stomach caused me a few more bathroom trips before settling at last. We watched an action movie but talked over it the entire time, trading stories, laughing. Ginsberg curled on an extra blanket, happily snoring by our feet.

As the hour grew late, I felt myself drifting off, my body weak from vomiting. “I’m fading.”

“That’s okay.” James snuggled me against him. “Sleep, babe.”

“I’m sorry…” I murmured. “Time wasn’t on my side tonight.”

“Doesn’t matter. We have time. Another night, we’ll do the fancy dinner. Besides,” James said, stroking his fingers down my cheek, “this is exactly how I wanted to spend Valentine’s Day.”

“With me being sick?”

“With you. Period.”

“S’nice,” I sighed. “Nobody’s ever been as nice to me.”

“I’ll be nice to you. I’ll treasure you,” James said slowly. “I promise.”

I buried my head at his neck, humbled by his words, welcoming a feeling of warmth melting through me like slow honey. The sweetness filled my limbs, strengthened my muscles, and fed my soul. I had faith building inside of me. A faith I’d thought lost. I believed our tomorrows would be as sweet as today. This love had warmth and weight. It had a future.

“Love you,” I vowed, a bit teary-eyed.

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