Reece quotes what I last said in a room full of children. “And slam it closed?”
I nod, even if the drawer won’t stay shut lately, but that’s probably down to the prospect of interviewing for a new boss. “I haven’t been thinking about him because you reminded me. And you don’t need to feel bad about crowding me. You definitely didn’t do that today. We hugged goodbye.” This is what I desperately want to keep. “Friends can do that, right?”
He nods, so I keep going.
“Any other contact was accidental. And the other time we almost…” I raise a hand to my mouth, fingertips brushing mylips. “You didn’t crowd me way back then either. All you gave me that time at Penny’s was some decent advice.”
“I did?”
Heat climbs my neck at him not remembering a moment that felt important enough to stay with me for years. I make myself repeat what he told me the very first time mistletoe invited us to kiss beneath it, and I went for it before he stopped me. “You said I shouldn’t feel pressured by tradition into kissing virtual strangers. That kissing was intimate, and should be my choice, not anyone else’s. I can guarantee Lito wouldn’t have said the same, so don’t compare yourself to him. You’renothingalike.”
Years of shared words flood back. I start with the simplest to describe this difference.
“You’re good.”
Lito wasn’t.
“You’re kind.”
Lito isn’t.
I should probably stop there.
I can’t.
“And I’ll never end up in the same situation with you because you aren’t my boss.” I aim for lightness. “I have a cast-iron rule about those.”
“You do?”
“Absolutely. I never, ever bang them, because?—”
“Power imbalances and relationships don’t go together? Give and take does, right?”
“Right.” I nod firmly. The dynamics he describes could relate to our text exchanges, which makes it easy as pie to say this and mean it. “You couldn’t pressurise me into doing a single thing I didn’t want to, Reece. You wouldn’t. Plus, we won’t even see each other once you sign those papers. You’ll be busy covering the rescue side of the operation for the next week.” I know because I drew up the rota. “Then you’re on leave.”
I also know why Reece booked leave from next Friday. Most of the Trelawneys will celebrate Christmas early so his folks can fly out to spend the twenty-fifth with Calum. Patrick and Sebastian are already packed and ready to leave. They both love their Cornwall visits.
“See?” I blink away the vision of my family’s last few Christmases when I’d wished so hard for a cloak to wrap around someone who sniffed her way through movies that used to make her happy.
I skitter away from that sadness.
“You’ll only be my boss on paper. Our paths won’t even cross while I serve my notice. Because I’ll be based right here in London.” I whip around to point at the front door as if he doesn’t know the best city in the world is outside, ready to strut a red carpet of sparkling Christmas parties. “Meanwhile, you’ll be a busy bee in Cornwall.”
There’s no reason to spin around on this chessboard of black-and-white marble tile to point at Reece. I never mastered spinning on slippery surfaces like ice whenever Calum tried to teach me skating basics. I was always too busy picturing myself in glinting spandex to learn or listen. I’m not much better on this hallway’s high-gloss flooring—I stumble out of my sharp turn to ask Reece, “How can there be a power imbalance if I won’t see you before I move on to my next post?”
“Because you’ll be…”
“Based right here in London,” I repeat. I even whip around and point at the front door in a reminder. Then I spin back to point at him again. “And you’ll be based in Cornwall.”
I also thank fuck that Valentin isn’t videoing me in a Santa hat that jingles each time I turn in a circle. He’d upload it as quick as a flash along with all of my hot pink blotches.
Reece covers his mouth with a hand, confirming that I must look stupid, only he also tilts his head at the front door, asking me without words to spin for him again, and, fuck my life, I do it.
I also let out a cackle, because this is silly. And fun, like Christmas used to be when Gramps would tease Gran about her movie heartthrobs and let me wear a cloak that swirled whenever I spun in circles for him.Even minus a cloak, getting to do at least part of that in a duke’s hallway leaves me dizzy. I spin again, and Reece catches me before I crash into one of the Heligan suits of armour guarding the study doorway.
His huff of laughter makes almost falling over worth it.
He grins down at me for the first time since he asked a room full of refugee kids what being happy looked like, and it has never been harder to pull my professional shit together.