“I have been going out of town to help him any time I can, and I made a comment that maybe I should just move out there to help him out,” Jude sighed, running his hand through his hair. “He freaked out and when I pushed the issue, it turned into a fight.”
That’s probably what triggered Theo and why he was so upset with Atlas.
“You going might not have made any difference,” I said, patting his back.
“And if you had gone you might just be out there with them. Then we’d be worrying about two brothers?” Luke snapped. “There was nothing you or anyone could have done differently other than having them not go.”
“He’s right, Jude,” I said, “It’s not your fault.”
“I fucking hate this,” he growled. “They should all be home here with us. I can’t even imagine what Nova is going through.”
“It’s fucking awful, and I feel so powerless,” I said, running my hand through my hair.
Luke put the cookies in the oven. “That’s why tomorrow we want to go looking for them.”
“Let's do it. I was able to take pictures of the maps they used and where they already searched for them.”
Jude pulled out his phone showing us where he thought they might be. We devised a plan as the cookies baked and by the time I offered Nova a cookie, I felt like I was one step closer to delivering my promise.
After we had our cookies, I dragged Nova back to our room so she and I could rest even though sleep was far from my mind. I was anxious to get out to look for them, so I just held Nova as my mind raced.
“Why do you call Sol, Sundae?” Nova murmured, startling me a little bit.
“I thought you were asleep,” I said, kissing her forehead.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep,” she said, tracing her finger up and down my abs. “So, why do you call her Sundae?”
“You know I didn’t grow up with much and we struggled a lot, but every so often my mom would take me out for a sundae. Those days were one of the highlights of my childhood. I didn’t have a lot of toys and my mom was so wrapped up in keeping us afloat that when she bought me a sundae, it instantly made everything better. So, I call her Sundae because Sol is all the bright moments in my life along with you.”
Nova sniffled. “That’s beautiful, Colt. You know why I named her Sol? I lived up to my name right before I was pregnant with her. I was at the top of my career, I had a great boyfriend, and I was doing very well financially. I was at peak luminosity, but after I found I was pregnant it's like all of that was taken away and I lost my light. When she was born, I swear to god, she was born with a smile on her face. She brightened up my world. Right then and there, I swore I would make sure she shined bright not for everyone else, but for herself because she is the brightest star and I'm just caught in her orbit.”
“She is the brightest star, and I think we all are happy to be in her orbit,” I said, holding her tighter. “I love her just like I love her momma.”
Nova sat up quickly. It was dark and all I could see was her silhouette, but I felt her stare and shock. I sat up slowly.
“I know this might not be the best time to say it, but I really do love you girls. You are the best parts of my days, my weeks, my months and my life. I thought I knew what love was, but you girls showed me I was only using a part of my heart. I know this might seem soon, but the only thing I will regret is not sayingit sooner because I want you to know I love both of you every single day.”
“Dammit, Colt. I swore I would never find love again. Who knew it would be with my neighbors and the man who drove me crazy and gave me a pack of dead batteries, but I fucking love you too.” She leaned forward, kissed me and I deepened the kiss pouring every ounce of love I had into her. “I never thought I could find someone who would love me and my daughter.”
“I can’t imagine not falling in love with you ladies, you have me wrapped around your fingers.” I sighed holding her close. “And there's no place I'd rather be.”
“Fuck, I can’t lose her, Colt,” she cried into my chest. “I can’t lose them.”
“We won’t.” It was dumb to be so positive, but I felt it in my gut that we would find them and we would sit our asses down to talk and start living our life together because a life without Sol, Theo, Atlas and Nova was an existence I didn’t want to be a part of.
My phone buzzed right next to me as I scrambled to shut it off quickly. Nova was pressed up against my back, spooning me and, while it was weird at first, I had grown to like being the little spoon. It was six in the morning as I checked the weather to see if the storm had died out.
I slid out of the bed, dressing as quickly and quietly as I could. Nova and I had barely fallen asleep three hours ago, she needed her rest, and I was hoping by the time she woke up, we had some answers.
I grabbed my hiking boots and left the room to see Luke doing the same. Jude and Iris were already in the kitchen pouring us coffee looking at the maps Jude had brought back.
A small knock on the door made my heart beat faster. I checked my phone wondering if I had missed anything and when I opened the door our Ranch Hand Forest stood there in hiking gear.
“I want to help,” he said, looking somber. “I did chores already.”
“Fuck Forest,” I said, pulling him in for a hug. “Thank you. Come on in, we have some coffee and we are looking at some maps.”
Forest followed me into the kitchen. I grabbed a cup, poured coffee, sugar and milk before I chugged most of it. We all looked exhausted, barely hanging on, and I was hit with a sense of immense love for these people.