Page 44 of Somewhere We Belong

“A date with who?” he asked.

“Some guy from a town over.” I looked away.

“First date?” he clipped.

I nodded, taken aback by the hostility in his voice. What was going on?

“Do you like your hair?” I asked, ready for him to leave.

“Looks great,” he said getting up, not even looking at the haircut. “Thank you.”

He pulled out his wallet, handing me a fifty.

“Colt, I can’t take this,” I said, as my guilt hit me like a tsunami.

“Have a good day, Nova,” he mumbled as he left.

I didn’t know what to say or what to do. Kissing Theo was a mistake, but it didn’t feel like one.

14

colt

HearingNova going on a date had me feeling things I felt like I shouldn’t be feeling. For fuck’s sake, I was in a relationship with men who I did not deserve, and I was happy. Why did my brain make me feel jealousy over a woman I had no right to be jealous over?

Theo and I moved the herd a little west, looking out for stragglers or calves that had lost their way. We filled the troughs and left some hay for our pregnant heifers. Theo and I were unusually quiet, but shame was keeping my mouth shut. I know nothing happened between the both of us, and technically I hadn’t cheated, but I still felt guilty for getting jealous, thinking I had any right to her.

The late July sun bore down on us as we took a quick break under some shade. I pulled out a PB&J, handing it to Theo. He stared at it for a while and just as I was about to ask him if he was ok, he took the sandwich. Theo had been extra quiet these last few weeks. It wasn’t unusual for him to not speak, but it felt more prominent this time.

“Are you ok?” I asked in between bites.

His eyes grew wide. “I’m… I’m fine,” he stuttered. “There’s nothing wrong.”

I raised my brow at him not expecting this reaction. Did I miss something this past week?

“That sounds like horse shit,” I said, turning towards him. “Spit it out.”

He shook his head. “No-nothing.”

“Theo, don’t you dare lie to me,” I growled. “You know bottling up your feelings doesn’t work. We need to be honest?—”

Theo stood up abruptly leaving his water and sandwich.

“Theo,” I called out as he walked to his horse.

I got up quickly as I realized he was going to leave.

“Hey,” I said, grabbing his arm, pulling him towards me.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes. Alarm bells rang in my head.

“Theo, talk to me,” I whispered, tugging him closer to me, hugging him.

“I kissed her,” he mumbled against my chest.

“What?” I leaned back gently pushing him to look at me.

“I kissed, Nova,” he said softly.

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