Page 111 of Somewhere We Belong

I kissed him quickly, dismissing what he tried to say as I left. This was all a stupid mistake, and nothing was worth losing them. I wiped my eyes as I took a deep breath feeling worse than before I had talked to Theo. I should feel happy we talked, but it felt like we were brushing things under the rug, and I wondered how long it would take for me to fall over the mess I had made.

32

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Sol’sschool hosted a spring hiking trip to kick-start their spring break. It wasn’t mandatory, but the school encouraged caregivers to go with their kids and have some fun. The weather was picture-perfect with a high of fifty-five and Sol was bouncing around like she had just had a shot of espresso.

“Please listen to Theo and Atlas,” I said, kneeling to zip up her jacket and make sure her hiking boots were tight enough.

“I know,” she said, moving so much that I had to glare at her to settle down. “I’m just so excited they are coming.”

All three of them wanted to go, but Colt had to stay behind because he was getting a part from Mountain View for a motorcycle rebuild he was doing for Bob.

“You ready, Sunflower?” Theo walked out of the hallway with Atlas in tow.

Things had been very strained since Theo’s outburst and, while he apologized last night, something still felt off. Atlas brushed off my question about him going and it seemed like they were still just as tense, even though they were talking.

“I’m so ready!” Sol yelled, running to Theo who picked her up.

“I made some PB&Js for you guys and I packed some snack bars along with some trail mix,” I said, handing them their bags. “I honestly think it’s too much food since you'll be back a little after lunch, but just in case it takes a little longer. There's also another small jacket for Sol and one of your bags has a blanket you guys can use to lay out or use for warmth.”

“Thanks, Love,” Atlas said, kissing my cheek.

He still looked exhausted, as if he hadn't caught up with his sleep from working that night.

“Always,” I said, pulling him in for a hug because I felt like he needed it. “Be careful, please.”

“We will,” he said, kissing my cheek before grabbing his bag. “Thanks for our snacks and meal. I’m sure Theo brought his entire survival kit with him. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Theo stood by awkwardly and I hated this weirdness, so I closed the gap and hugged him. He was tense at first and I thought I had fucked up, but when he relaxed and pulled me against him tighter, I felt so much better.

“I've missed you,” I whispered.

He nodded, leaning back, kissing me softly and sweetly.

“Ew, gross, stop eating my mom,” Sol cackled.

“Oh, shut it, you little brat,” I said, grabbing her and giving her a huge kiss on the cheek.

Sol giggled as I put her down. “Come on, Teddy and Atty, lets goooo!”

I shook my head at her, but deep down I was so fucking happy that she had two guys to take her on this hiking trip. Most of the parents who went were dads and I was usually the only mom, but now she had two guys going with her and she was so excited.

Atlas kissed me on my cheek followed by Sol and Theo stood there like he didn’t know what to do.

“Can we talk when you get back?” I asked, biting my lip, noticing that he did have a bigger bag.

“We need to discuss a lot of things,” he said as he nodded, then pecked me and quickly left the house.

He wanted to talk about a lot of things, but my overactive imagination figured it wasn’t going to be good. What if this was it? What if Atlas went to San Francisco and Theo wanted nothing to do with us? The thought of being left alone again felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. My chest felt tight, it was like I couldn’t get a deep breath in and a stupid part of me was reliving Andrés leaving us all over again. Would we ever be good enough for anyone?

I never worked Saturdays, and I regretted working this one. The salon was only open till three, which was the perfect time for a full color and a haircut client but, I was not in it today. I had been in the business long enough, though, I knew I could fake my way through a half a day.

“You ok?” Stacie asked, as I pulled my purse out of my locker.

“Yeah,” I said a little too loudly that her brows went up.

My cheeks grew red.

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