Page 92 of Murder in the Family

On the other hand, in some of these cases the desire to be ‘taken care of’ is so strong it can lead men like this to gravitate towards older women, especially those with significant means or status. There’s quite a famous case from the States where a prominent Nevada politician got involved with her husband’s critical-care nurse, who was about ten years younger than her.

GUY HOWARD

What happened to her?

DIANA MORAN

I’m afraid she ended up dead. He killed her. But clearly we’re not looking at anything like that here. Though it’s interesting, in that context, to look not only at Luke but at your mother’s personality type too: some psychologists believe that certain individuals – in this case, mostly women – will actively seek out partners who will be reliant on them, partners they can ‘mother’.

It won’t surprise you to learn that this is known as ‘Wendy Syndrome’: it’s often found as a co-dependency with the ‘Peter Pan’ personality type.

Do you think that could have been relevant in your own mother’s case?

GUY HOWARD

(shaking his head)

My immediate response would be no. Luke was the exception, not the rule, in my mother’s life. Both before and after Luke she was in relationships with men considerably older than she was. Men who for the most part looked afterher.

DIANA MORAN

Interesting.

GUY HOWARD

You said there were other aspects of Luke’s behaviour that did appear to have followed the Peter Pan pattern. What sort of thing did you mean?

DIANA MORAN

The fact that he was easily bored, his lack of ambition, his reluctance to get a job—

GUY HOWARD

Though you could just put that down to laziness – because he didn’t actuallyneedto work—

DIANA MORAN

Absolutely. Which is why it’s so perilous to draw conclusions from second-hand accounts.

I believe you said Luke was extremely interested in physical fitness?

GUY HOWARD

(with a wry smile)

Yeah, he got Mum to put a gym in the basement.

DIANA MORAN

Which is also interesting, because these ‘Peter Pans’ are often obsessed with their looks and physique: another way of proving that they’re ‘still young’. In some extreme cases these men even dress and behave like adolescents.

There are examples from the US of people in their thirties taking on fake identities and allowing themselves to be taken into foster care. Or enrolling in a series of different high schools using fake adolescent personae. Basically just about anything to avoid taking on the responsibilities of adulthood.

GUY HOWARD

But didn’t ‘Luke’ do a version of exactly that, living off the passport of someone much younger than him?

DIANA MORAN

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