Page 22 of Rumor Has It

“Is this about Lindy? Did you finally reply to her?”

“No,” I say. “I didn’t reply and it’s not about her.” Based on what she texted me yesterday, I don’t think I have to avoid her for much longer. She officially leaves town this Saturday. Her last text was practically begging me to talk to her before then.

“Then what’s up, man? I mean, I joke around a lot, but you’re one of my best friends. You can talk to me about serious shit, too,” he says.

I probably do need to say something to someone. But god, the moment I say her name, he’s gonna be on it like flies on cow shit. “Can you promise not to go insane when I say this?”

Garrett silently draws anXover his heart, then says, “And hope to die.”

“It’s about Ellie,” I say.

Garrett’s face lights up, his eyebrows jumping halfway up his forehead before settling back down. He seems to be taking a moment to compose himself under my harsh gaze before he says anything.

“What about Ellie?” he asks.

His voice sounds like he’s trying to do an impression of a calm person. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s a fake sort of calm. I give him props for trying.

“She’s hot.”

“Yeah,” he says. “And?”

“And I’ve been thinking about her.”

“You mean you’ve been thinking about giving her a special grown-up hug?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re an idiot,” I say. “But yeah, basically.”

“I think you should do it. I approve of this boink.”

“Please don’t ever say boink to me again,” I say. “Or near me. Or within earshot.”

“What’s wrong with the word boink?”

“You’re thirty-four, Garrett.” I let the statement speak for itself, although where Garrett is concerned, he probably won’t catch my drift.

“Forget I said it. Insert whatever word you want. Screw. Hook up. Sexual healing,” he says.

“Jesus Christ.” I shake my head. “You know damn well that she and I are way too involved as friends to screw and then what? Resume normal activities?”

“I never said only do it once.”

That’s just the thing, though. With Ellie, once that line is crossed, we could never go back. We could never tuck it away as a mistake or a one-time thing and be what we’ve been since middle school. And each time my mind begins to weigh the risk, I can’t seem to reconcile it.

Because what are we even talking about here? If I admit it could never be a one-time thing, then we’re talking about an all-out, full-blown relationship. Nothing less would make any sense. And not just the beginning of a relationship. Given how long we’ve known each other, we’d be starting in a very familiar place already. I don’t know if that would work between us, because it’s one of thoseyou don’t know until you trysituations. And what am I risking to find out?

In a word: everything.

SIXTEEN

ELLIE

Kelly Ann takes a bite of her chicken salad sandwich, then slowly sets it back down onto the paper towel in front of her. We’re having lunch in the break room at work because everyone else here elects to stay in their classroom or go outside, so it’s always empty in here.

“So let me see if I have this,” she says, and swallows. “You want Theo, but you don’t know what that means. And you don’t want to risk your friendship in the process of finding out. Does that about cover it?”

“Yes.” I nod as I bite into my turkey club. “That, and I don’t think he sees me like that.”

“Like what? A woman? Like he’s a man and you’re a woman? Give him more credit than that.”

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