Page 51 of Echoes of War

I hate the word jealousy, because I don’t think that was the correct way to describe how I felt. I was happy for them. It was about damn time, and honestly, maybe Amaia would finally get her act together now that she wasn’t as wound up. But damn, did I miss my man.

Seth contacting me brought me back to square one. Just as I was finally processing it all, ready to move on the second I left this place and could stop seeing his face on Sloan’s body, he’d ruined it. I’d lied to Amaia earlier, my guard hadn’t slipped an ounce. There’d been a tug at something from deep in my chest, a prodding sensation. He was begging for my attention,and when I hadn’t graced him with it, he demanded it instead. Seth had grown stronger in his absence. I wasn’t sure which was more terrifying, that or the possibility he’d always been that strong and I’d let something as stupid as love blind me.

There had been no apology, no sense of regret, not even a real acknowledgment of the person he’d claimed to love and left behind. Just a half-assed happy birthday that had a chance of sending Amaia back into another spiral. I mean what the hell was that?

Maybe that’s what he had wanted. Maybe I was still ignorantly in love and had played into his hand. At the end of the day, none of that mattered because I was done keeping secrets, done hiding thingsespeciallywhen it came to Seth fucking Moore. So I told her.

Knowing that Alexiares would be there to pick up the pieces had aided in my decision. It certainly made it easier knowing that she would recover as best as she could even after hearing the news. I half expected her to come out in a rage, demanding me to tell her what other secrets I had kept and why I hadn’t immediately made her aware Seth had contacted me. She still could, it had only been twenty-four hours and my sister had a habit of bringing up old news. The future had not favored that version of our reality, at least not yet. Instead, Alexiares had found the right words and managed to get her out of that bathroom and into celebration.

A one and a million chance out of all the alternatives to the horrendous endings to that day that I’d seen. They both seriously needed help when it came to expressing themselves. Between the fighting and making eyes at each other, there was a 99.9 percent chance they’d fuck it out by the end of our stay here. It was only a matter of time.

At least they had each other now. I had Reina, but Reina also had Abel and now Sloan and thus went my distraction. In a self-serving way, I’d been excited when Abel had made us aware that we’d have to set out to convince the other settlements to join our cause. My sister and I out on the open road, doing our partin this war. It would be a successful mission, just as Abel had seen, though not one without its own complications. What I hadn’t realized at that point, or seen, was that Abel himself would be joining us.

I didn’t have a problem with the guy. In fact, I barely knew him. He’d left not too long before I’d arrived, and by then, he was little more than a memory to Reina and Seth. Amaia and Riley barely spoke of him and now I knew why. The situation he’d been placed in or ratherhehimself had been the one real disagreement they’d ever had. And now Amaia would be bringing him back to join our little family and I was back to being lonely.

The presence of one specific person would solve that, and it turned out he was an egotistical asshole with daddy issues. Which tracked, given my type from The Before. Shit, I don’t even know if I ever really knew him, at least not in the way I’d let him know me.

How could you know someone who kept such a big part of them hidden? His true motivations in life never to be brought to light until it was too damn late. It wasn’t just the fact that he had valued reuniting his family. I could understand that, sympathize with it. But in honor of reuniting his family, he had abandoned the one that we built. Disposed of us, and the blood he claimed to care so much about. A distraction until he could have what he truly wanted. That was not just hiding a part of himself, it was a definitive rift in our core values.

He had been right in the fact that I would go to great lengths to get my birth family back if I had found out that they were still alive. Seth was wrong, however, about one thing—I would never betray my found family for the sake of reuniting with the one that I lost. There would be no reason to, because I knew, despite everything, that I could trust Amaia. Trust my family to help me when I needed them the most.

Reina said it best time and time again: while we may not understand the choice Amaia made, her decisions always had a funnyway of working out in her favor. She was too damn smart for her own good. If I had learned anything at all the last few months, is that the Universe would do whatever it could to make sure Amaia got what Amaia wanted. The singular condition to her desires being answered was that she kept the wellbeing of others forefront in her mind. If he had only trusted Amaia, allowed her to come up with a way to help, he could have had it all.

That wasn’t true though. He would have been able to have what he thought he was seeking until he got here and found out the truth. Then he still would have left without looking back.

Truth be told, I felt helpless. The girl who could see the future, except when it mattered most.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to see that part of the future even if I wanted to though. It was dependent upon information he had no knowledge of, that his father was in charge of the entire damn Covert Province. I couldn’t see anything pertaining to them regardless because of whatever voodoo, magic blocking bullshit powers they had in place.

In the end, every possible outcome I considered came down to one final conclusion. Seth would still leave, and for that choice, Seth would die.

I didn’t need visions to read the fucking room. Every person I surrounded myself with, hell walked past in this settlement and surely Monterey Compound once they caught wind, would want him dead, with the exception of Reina.

The only indefinite thing in this moment was by whose hand?

Seth

Iguess I’m the villain in everybody’s story at this point.

Strolling through the pristine streets of Covert Providence capitol, I sucked in the crisp winter air. Moe’s resistance to block me out in her damn sleep had sent me over the edge. Without space to ride, this was the only way I could clear my head. I’d never stop being enamored with that woman’s utter determination. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard as hell to walk away from her. Walking away from them all was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

That was before my dad had helped me realize that the hardest things in life are often the most rewarding. He’d listened intently, met with me as much as possible to help me adjust to what was tobecome my life.

Men and women passed by me. Some in suits, others in business casual type clothing. I stuck out like a sore thumb here. My Levi’s and boots didn’t exactly blend in with their uniformed way of dressing. Add in my cowboy hat and I got a lot of stares. It took me a while to realize why. Factor in that there weren’t too manySuprasroaming around here and I guess I truly was a spectacle. An anomaly in their oddly mundane society. Most of the ones I’d seen were military and even then, there weren’t many of us.

I was starting to think there wasn’t a place out there meant for people like me.

It was my dad who centered me, brought me back down to reality. Really helped me channel my anger and confusion into something productive. The more I thought about my decision to leave ‘em all behind, the more my role in this world became clear. Everything I loved about Monterey had become a blur. Since my time here in Richmond, Virginia, I’d come to realize that not everyone was meant to save the world.

In this world, it was rare that someone had Amaia’s heart, Riley’s loyalty, Tomoe’s determination, or my sister’s overall desire to do good. Some of us were meant to destroy the world, to rebuild it in a better, more worthy light. I’d reckon Alexiares was more like me than he was willin’ to admit, but only time would tell. I didn’t need to wonder around his filthy mind to see what he was capable of.

He was no less a monster than I was. The only difference was he’d make it into Amaia’s bed before Finley got her claws back in him. A woman’s touch could do that to a man, make ‘em wanna do better. Be better. Moe had that effect on me for a while until I’d snapped out of it. There were bigger things in this life to be accomplished than settling down and making some lousy settlement a home.

That’s what Monterey was—lousy as hell compared to what Covert Province had to offer.

I stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn to walk. We didn’t have enough traffic like this back home to bother with such things, so it had taken me a few days to figure out why those around me gawked in fear as I jaywalked. It wasn’t until a man my age passed me on the sidewalk one day that things had become clear. He offered a simple warning,follow the rules and your life will be good. So follow the rules I did, taking social cues from the others, doing my best to blend in.

My dad had done his best to show me the ropes the moment I got here, finally proud to slap my shoulder and call me his son. It felt good, felt right. The work he was doing here would rebuild this country the way it should have remained. Led by the strong on the backs of the weak.

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