Page 44 of Echoes of War

I struggled with deciding whether you should know this or not, but who am I to keep it from you. I heard from Seth this morning, briefly, he said happy birthday to the one who believed the best in him, when he presented the worst.

I love you, Maia. We love you. All of us. Happy birthday.

PS: He came to me in my dreams. My guard was down for a second. Sue me. Oh wait, you can’t.

Moe

That explained why Reina couldn’t seem to keep her hands off her. Reaching out in small touches, trying to help. Amaia was not crying in that bathroom because of me, because of them. She was crying because Seth was not here but had still remembered. I think that made it worse than if he had forgotten. It would be easier if he had. If he had completely cut ties.

I pushed the door open without knocking, not wanting to give her a chance to hide herself from me. She stood leaning over the sink, tears streamed down her now reddened brown cheeks. A bottle was at risk of breaking from the death grip in her hand, teetering between pouring its contents out and back down to the bottom of the bottle.

Saying nothing, I grabbed the bottle from her and pointed the neck of it down the drain. Amaia did not look up as I dragged her down to the ground, pulling her into my arms and cradled her against my chest. Her body shook, and no tears were left. Just sadness, her body empty from the piece of her heart thatwas missing.

“I won’t let you do this to yourself again,” I said, more to myself than to her. “Enough is enough.”

There was no way she could carry on this way. Amaia would bring the destruction of herself if she tried. Addiction was a terrible thing, a disease. As with many diseases, you cannot help someone unless they want to help themselves. You can’t force someone to seek treatment at a doctor, can’t force a cancer patient into chemo.

You can’t force an alcoholic to quit the bottle when their body is conditioned to reach for it. They were diseases of different magnitudes, but alcoholism was still that.

“I don’t want to do it to myself either.”

The magic words I’d spent more time wishing to hear than I could have counted on every finger, toe and limb as I laid in her bed at night, pretending I didn’t smell it coming from her. Sloan had been an unknowing enabler in the whole thing. Providing her a coping mechanism as they met at night while she escaped in her own kind of way.

The two would destroy each other if no one stopped them. Not from malice, or intentionally, but because neither one of them had been strong enough to tell the other that it was time to stop. And then held the other accountable in the wake of.

“It’s okay, Amaia,” I cooed. “You are not alone. Not before, not now, not ever again. I’m here. You helped me. Now let me return the favor.”

Her head nodded in the cusp of my neck. After a few moments, she leaned back and kissed my cheek. Bringing herself to her feet, she moved toward the mirror. Amaia splashed her face in the water basin next to the sink and studied her reflection. A deep laugh erupted from her chest and she didn’t stop. I stood, making my way behind her, trying to see what she saw.

“What are you laughing at?” I asked.

“Myself,” Amaia said, in between rough gasps for air. “What’s a birthday without some dramatic birthday girl tears? I’m a fucking mess.”

Grabbing onto her waist, I pulled her around to face me. “My mess.” I meant it too. She was stronger than she realized, but a mess she fucking was.

She smiled at that. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“Come on, we’re not done with the birthday girl.”

“The cake!” she exclaimed in a panic. “Oh shit.”

I pushed her dark curls out of her face. “Don’t worry, they already left.”

The apartment was silent. A birthday bomb had gone off in here. We stepped into the living room and took in the already sorry-looking cake now half eaten on the counter. There were crumbs everywhere and a fist-sized hole in the middle of the cake.

“Fucking Reina,” Amaia said behind a hand covered giggle.

I couldn’t help but join in. “That girl is something else.”

It was getting dark and there weren’t many people left out on the street. The citizens had either made their way to guard duty, their homes, or likely the bonfires if they were as fun as Abel and Sloan had said. The sky was still dark, though the snow had held off throughout the day. The lack of stars in the sky made the walk through the city eerie. Only street lamps lit the world around us, creating elongated shadows as we passed each building.

Snow mushed underneath our boots that had been missed during the last street clearing. Despite the surrounding darkness, the mood between us appeared to be rising.

Amaia glanced up at me, grabbing my hand with a smile and I swear my heart fucking stopped. Every moment of affection between us had been done in private this far. This display of PDA caught me off guard.

I squeezed her hand in response. “You didn’t ask where we were going.”

“Don’t care where,” she replied, “as long as it’s not sequestered into that dark, dingy room. Plus, I’m with you. It can’t be anywhere too boring.”

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