Page 56 of Dex

Daniela inhales sharply.“Dexter …”

I let out a humorless laugh, shaking my head.“It was silly.I was an evil child—”

“No child is evil, Dexter.”

“You don’t know what I was like back then, when they started to argue and yell at each other.We didn’t know then that the calm and quietness vanished when the secret came to light.After that my parents used to fight all the time, not physical fights, they just threw verbal punches.I became angry and confused, and bitter, not understanding what had happened.But when I said that to my mom, she looked at me like I’d cut her in two, and I wanted to rush up to her, and hug her and say I was sorry, but my stubbornness, and my anger, stopped me.Hours later the news came and we discovered that she’d driven off a bridge.I would give anything to turn back the time and run up to her and hug her, and take those words back.But I can’t.”

“Dexter.”Daniela sniffles.I look up and see her looking so sad.

“Jett and Zach say it wasn’t my fault.That she was already so broken by our father’s deceit.”I pause.“But I feel like it drove her to the edge.Like she wouldn’t have done what she did.She had three boys to live for.But then my father cheated on her, and I told her I wished she were dead…”

Daniela’s eyes turn misty.This woman barely knows me.And yet, she’s sitting across from me, looking like my pain is her pain.Feeling it.

“You can’t think that what happened to your mother is because of something you said,” she says.

“Cause and effect.I said those words and she died.”

“It wasn’t your words, Dexter.Your father had a secret family.”

I exhale.“Mom died about a month later after she found out about them.”

“Dexter.If I could take away your pain, I would.”Her whisper curls around my heart, offering compassion.

My chest tightens.“Why would you?”I say roughly, the shutters coming down all around me, keeping me in my safe space.“You don’t know me.”I choose not to get close to people for this very reason.I know what love can do to people and I don’t want to make myself that vulnerable to anyone.Ever.

Daniela meets my gaze.“I don’t have to know you to see the pain in your eyes.”

Hell.

We haven’t even had sex.This is the kind of thing that happens post-sex.Sometimes, before I shut it down.

It’s not supposed to happen here.

Not now.

Not with her.

I jerk my hand away, my entire body tensing.

She immediately retracts, looking down.“I’m sorry if I … if I overstepped.”I clear my throat, nodding.

It’s fine.

It’s not fine.

I glance up and spot Rio, just as the appetizers arrive.Suddenly, I’ve lost my appetite.This was too close.It felt good for a second, being heard.Being listened to.Having someone feel my pain and try to make it better.

But then, in the next second, I remember—

This is an arrangement.Nothing more.

This woman will be out of my life in less than a year.After seven months, she’ll be nothing more than a memory.

What the hell am I doing?I pick up my drink, gripping it tighter than I should.I’m so fucking stupid.I glance at Rio again.

Daniela notices.“What is it?”She turns in her chair, then her body stiffens and she jumps right out of her seat and walks to the other end of the room.To the bar.Where Rio is sitting.

I bolt up and rush to her side.“What are you doing?”I ask, but her eyes are blazing.

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