Page 124 of Dex

But lately, every time I look at her, there’s a constant battle between my mind and my heart.I want her, but I can’t have her.I need her, but I will be the end of her.I pull Daniela to my side, keeping my hand on the small of her back, a proprietary touch as we work the room.She’s good at this, like she was born for this, all soft smiles and polite nods, accepting congratulations on our marriage as if it were real.

And maybe it is.

Maybe it was when she shuddered beneath me, when her body arched, when my name fell from her lips in breathless, broken gasps.

I don’t know what’s real anymore.

What I do know is that I hate this.The performance.The pretending.The way she’s here but not really with me.

Now that we’re living together, there have been many moments when she looks at me and everything blurs and slides to the background.Sometimes I almost forget we’re pretending.Especially when she got hurt.I was ready to do some serious damage to the guy who hurt her, but I’ve been warned by the old man, and Daniela, to refrain.

She still thinks it’s funny and she laughs about it because she fought him off.I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed that she held her own, but some men can be dangerous.

If he’d had a knife, or a gun ...

I didn’t sleep the first night it happened, worrying about what might have been.Daniela thinks I fussed too much, but it would kill me if anything happened to her.

Cari comes up to us, just as someone beckons me over.I leave, telling Daniela I’ll be back shortly.But even as I converse with a business acquaintance, my eyes are on my wife.She’s not just beautiful.This woman is temptation wrapped in silk and I look away, because I want her.

I want her with me.I want her to be mine, the hypocrite that I am.I’m the one who told her we can’t get close.I look away, to catch my breath.To calm myself down.To tamp down the feelings I have for her.When I next look over, when I can’t help myself, I see Daniela and Rio standing in a corner, away from everyone else, and comfortable in a way that makes my skin itch.She’s leaning into him, her body turned toward him, her smile relaxed and soft.He’s beside her, drink in hand, his usual lazy grin firmly in place.Whatever the hell he just said made her laugh.

He’s looking at her the way I do.

Like he wants her.

Like he could have her.

My grip tightens around my glass and my jaw locks.I tell myself it’s nothing.That I don’t care, and I force myself to walk away before I do something reckless.

When we leave, I can’t bring myself to look at her, or talk to her.She senses it, because from the periphery of my vision I can see her looking at me every now and then as the car glides back to our apartment.

The second we step inside, the tension snaps.

I throw my keys onto the console table, and loosen my tie.My pulse is still hammering, my blood still running hot, and it has nothing to do with the whiskey.

I can’t control my rage anymore and storm into her bedroom.“What the hell was that?”

She turns, her large green eyes blinking.“What?”

I stalk toward her.“You and Rio.”

She lets out a short laugh, crossing her arms.“Are you serious?”

“You were all over him.”

Her mouth falls open.“Excuse me?”

I take another step, closing the space between us.“You laughed with him.You leaned into him.You—”

“Careful, Dexter, before you say something stupid.”

Her words are like a red flag to a bull.“What the fuck was that?”

“I’m sorry.”Her voice drips with sarcasm.“I didn’t know I had to ask your permission to have a conversation, especially with your brother of all people.”

My hands fist by my sides.“Daniela—”

“No.”She waggles and sleek finger at me.“You don’t get to do this.”Her voice rises, sharp with anger.“You don’t get to treat me like a possession when you’ve spent weeks pushing me away.”

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