“I did, but you just came all over my fingers.”
Her expression shifts in an instant.She flinches, like I just slapped her.Because I wouldn’t need to have a shower for that.What I want to do is lick my fingers and taste her, but this can’t go any further.
The hurt flickers across her face before she hides it, but I see it.And I hate myself for it.
I step quietly out of the hot tub, putting distance between us, trying to ignore the battle waging inside me.I don’t want to leave.I want to pull her into me and go further.But it’s better that I walk away.I can’t.
I force myself not to look back as I try to erase the image of her sitting in that hot tub, looking so very deliciously fuckable.
I spend most of my shower fucking my fist, remembering her moans of pleasure.How wet and swollen she was for me.How her eyes glazed over as my fingers pistoned in and out of her.
I’m in danger of falling in love with you, Dexter.
Her words bounce around in my head.Their depth and heaviness conjuring up scenarios I can’t let myself be part of.
I avoid her later by dealing with non-important emails and pretending to be busy at my desk.When I walk past the bedroom, Daniela is already in bed, curled up under the sheets, facing away.
I want to crawl in beside her, but I force myself to go to the spare bedroom instead.Shutting the door behind me, my shoulders slump as I lean against the door and wonder what the hell I just did.
A silly, needy part of me expected her to ask me what was wrong.To come to me to coax it out of me, but Daniela isn’t the sort of woman to chase after a man.I see that now.She is more than I first thought.She gives me the space I need and, unlike other women, she leaves me alone, even when I really don’t want to be alone.
She’s the type of woman a man would be lucky to have, and stupid to let go.I’m at risk of giving into my feelings, of giving into my emotions, because I’m starting to feel so much for her, but when she crossed a line with those words and my guardrails slammed into place.
She says she could fall in love with me, but I’ll hurt her.Sleeping in the spare room is the right thing to do, yet I can’t help but wonder where the fuck we go to from here?
Chapter 27
DANI
I wake up alone, my thoughts filled with Dexter.He’s more wounded, more broken, more complicated than I ever imagined.
He does things I don’t understand.Kissing me, being so close and intimate with me, touching me and making me come apart in his hands.
I believed it would lead to more.I believed he felt something for me, because I felt something for him.But I made the mistake of telling him I was falling for him.I slap a hand over my face and groan.Dios,what was I thinking?
I don’t like him being like this, all cold again.Away from me.As if he can’t stand being around me.
Now we’re back to playing that charade again.
Only, I can’t.
It’s exhausting.
I want to reach for my phone and call Raquel, but I can’t disturb her again.She’s always so busy.I feel so utterly alone and wretched, but it’s the last day of the honeymoon and tonight we fly back to São Paulo for dinner with my parents.Tomorrow morning, we leave for New York.
I’m going to stay away from Dexter.I won’t confront him, or ask him what the hell he’s playing at.No.Instead, we’ll spend the day dancing around each other, pretending like last night never happened.
By the time I get up, shower and get dressed into another bikini and coverall, Dexter is already at work, seated in the office chair, laptop open, his focus locked on the screen.
“Good morning,” I say.Clearly he doesn’t want to have breakfast out on the terrace with me.He’s focussing so hard, his brow creases.
“Morning,” he murmurs, barely glancing up.
Seeing that he’s not going to move, I bring him a cup of coffee, setting the cup beside him.He doesn’t acknowledge it.
“You’re working again,” I say because staying silent seems childish.
“Busy day.”His tone is dismissive and detached.Like last night meant nothing.LikeImean nothing.So much for spending the last day here together.So much for that stupid, fleeting hope that maybe, just maybe, he might be different this morning.